Miscellaneous Better out than in

Better out than in

flying13 - 03/11/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Basic communication

Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

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Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

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Stealth bomber

Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

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Stealth

smellyhair - 02/11/2014 11:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

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ECullen - 21/05/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

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An attempt was made

bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

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toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

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Noname - 19/02/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

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Anonymous - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

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My body hates me

HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

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rottentomatoes 7

Wednesday 3 November 2010 16:14

haha, strangers who make you feel awkward are awesome.

Richisme 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 16:07

bubbles baby

coNsperAZI 4

Wednesday 3 November 2010 18:39

what's immd?

zenti 2

Wednesday 3 November 2010 18:45

You could have saved yourself a lot of time by googling it instead of asking here.

BabesYourAStar 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 18:51

charming :|

BigJonMoo73 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 18:52

haha! Classic.

TheB0a 5

Wednesday 3 November 2010 18:57

That stranger is awesome.

spaceshan69 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:18

hhahaha. that guys awesome. YDI for no sense of humor

xGabri3L 3

Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:29

I smell Tuna.

therighthero 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:37

well.. it kind of did...

CoachLlama 5

Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:44

How marvelous. You met this genteel, cultured, and refined gentleman randomly out in public? It is nice to see people still have good manners.

McMan 23

Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:55

Is this the same guy from the FML a few months ago where he sat down farted stood up nodded at the OP and left if so he's traveling O.o

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was seriously angry with my husband and was making valid arguments as to why he was wrong. He just started kissing me, and we ended up having sex. He knows how to win every argument, and I fall for it everytime. FML

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Today, I tried to give myself a pep talk in the bathroom mirror at work, just like Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul does. Just as I said, "You got this," someone walked in and gave me a very concerned look. Now I’m the "motivational mirror person" in the office. FML

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Today, my tire was a little low on air. I decided to put in a can of Fix-A-Flat and drive home. Since it was 10 degrees outside and snowing, the can became frozen to the valve. When I finally got the can off, I had ruined the valve, so I had to put on the spare tire. It was flat too. FML

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Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

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Today, I went to the park and people were crowded around some dancers. One of the dancers danced up to me, gave me a flower, and winked at me. I was very flattered, until the same dancer asked me to give the flower back after the dance so he could use it on the next show. FML

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Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML

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