Nearly FMLs

By deadxmanxwalking - 12/04/2016 14:10 - United States - Holland

Today, I stayed up all night working on a paper that was due the next day. I went to bed at 3:30 in the morning, making sure my alarm was set for 6:40. When I woke up, it was 9:55, I missed the class I stayed up all night for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By mishfish - 12/04/2016 14:01 - Australia - Heidelberg

Today, I perfectly planned everything in order to get home early and get some proper sleep. So I get into bed at 9:30 all snugly and warm looking forward to a solid 10 hours of unconscious bliss... 5 hours later I'm still trying to get my brain to shut down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 13:56 - United Kingdom - Rowlands Castle

Today, I spent the whole of my birthday alone because none of my friends I invited over turned up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Onigori - 12/04/2016 13:54 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had to tune out my professor for an entire lesson because every time he said the name of the composer we were studying, he mumbled and it sounded like "Buttsex". I couldn't take him seriously for the entire two hour lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By thanks assholes - 12/04/2016 13:17 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I got a flat tire a mile from school. My phone is broken so I tried to flag down some students to ask and use their phone. No one stopped. I ended up having to knock on doors in a nearby neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 0

By What are they then - 12/04/2016 13:16 - United States - Murray

Today, I learned that my best friend is convinced that dinosaurs never existed. She says the skeletons/fossils are of "anything other than dinosaurs," and refuses to believe otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By Thelonelydino - 12/04/2016 13:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in bed when he rolled over and casually mentioned that he had lied to me when he said no to masturbating when I am not home. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't having bedroom problems which include him never wanting to have sex because "he's not feeling it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By adorkable_nerd - 12/04/2016 12:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was trying to impress the new guy at work I got all cute and dolled up it wasn't until half way through the day that then someone told me I had a huge hole in the back of my pants I wondered why people where smiling at me FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By kkcanadian - 12/04/2016 12:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to a movie with a girl I have liked for a while. Right before the movie started I reached over so we could hold hands. She grabbed mine and said with a creepy face, "So you jerk off with this hand?" I had to sit through an hour and a half movie with her. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Spring - 12/04/2016 12:42 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my father told me to get my shit together and step up to the plate because I forgot to clean his dishes. He's forgetting that: I have a job, actively volunteer, play in an orchestra, and go to church. He does none of these things and sits on his ass all day at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By showerspider - 12/04/2016 12:35 - United States - Cabot

Today, while I was showering, I saw a giant spider right by my foot. I started to scream and jumped out of my shower. My sister came in, saw it and hit it with my shoe. That's when we both realized this spider was a mama spider because babies covered the shower floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 1

By MzZombicidal - 12/04/2016 12:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a dinner date. We were having a really great time until a random server came up and said, "I'm settling a bet. Are you two related or a couple?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 1

By mh_2323 - 12/04/2016 12:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, we watched our short video projects in class. This class has 50+ people in it. When my group and I were filming, we kept going even if we messed up because we planned to cut it out later. We submitted the unedited version. We also said "fuck" or "shit" every time we made messed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 2

By dragoongirl90 - 12/04/2016 11:50 - United States - Redding

Today, I am on several dating websites, hoping to find someone. All I get are a ton of guys who don't even say hello before sending dick pics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 11:36 - Australia - Kallangur

Today my boyfriend of two years dumped me in public by saying 'good luck finding someone better than me.' FML.

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 1

By taylovezadtr - 12/04/2016 10:51 - United States - Levittown

Today, i went in for an interview at a new job. I had a cast on my arm so i got why people stared. When i went in my interviewer looked horrified the entire time. As I walk out i found out one of my friends drew a giant dick on my cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Noh body - 12/04/2016 10:39 - Germany - Garmisch-partenkirchen

Today, I was standing in the hallway playing around with some friends when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to see that it was my crush who was way out of my league who just wanted to say hi, my first reaction was to double over at a loss of breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By 08homer - 12/04/2016 10:38 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I heard back from a Job position i had applied for to earn a bit of cash, since i am waiting for my dream job to start in 5 months time. I was rejected from this and the 2 previous minimum wage jobs , no reason was given other than "not suitable". I have a Bachelors and Masters degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By Battlebarney - 12/04/2016 10:32 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, after spending over three hours in the bathroom at work, I finally came to the conclusion that yes, I do have to talk to my coworker. Even though she's bat-shit crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 09:51 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I've been off my meds for about a week while I wait for my refill to be delivered, and it's screwing with pretty much everything in my body. I can barely get out of bed or off the toilet. I'm fucked until the delivery company decides to actually give me my meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By The man - 12/04/2016 09:51 - Canada - Sydney

Today my dad walked in on me masturbating to powerpuff girls. that was an awkward conversation after FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By stupidbank - 12/04/2016 09:23 - Australia - North Lakes

Today, my bank "accidentally" put a hold on my account and canceled my card. The closest bank branch to me is 3 1/2 hours away and it will take up to a week before my replacement card arrives. So I am stranded in the middle of nowhere with no money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 1

By shana_starlight - 12/04/2016 09:07 - Mauritius

Today, I had the hellish ass itching of my life. After thorough reflection I just slipped my hands near my butt and relieve myself. On turning back I saw the most cutest guy of the university giving me that "what the hell" look! FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By BBG2297 - 12/04/2016 09:00

Today I am giving a presentation on the dangers of alcohol abuse. I look horribly hungover and have been vomiting since 2am all due to a migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 08:44 - Australia - Sydney

Today, a friend handed me something and jokingly said "Happy Birthday". The funny thing is, it really was my birthday, and he didn't know. He was the first and only person to say "Happy Birthday" to me, and he didn't even mean it. Looks like I'm the only one having cake tonight!FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By AiRzSubzero - 12/04/2016 08:25 - United States - Gaylord

Today, I was at the hospital getting an MRI for my torn muscle on my arm. A lady came up to me and punched in my bad arm. I turned to face her and she then proceeded to slap me across the face. She then apologized and said that she thought I was her ex-husband. I'm 14. She was 50. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By howoldareyouuu - 12/04/2016 07:19 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, Someone commented on the wrinkles I'm getting on my forehead, saying that I'm too young for them. Today someone else also commented on my acne, saying I'm too old to have acne. I'm 24. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By sleepyolivia - 12/04/2016 06:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, despite the fact that an assignment was due tomorrow and the workload was large, I decided it was about time that I started putting effort into my education. With this in mind, I spent several hours of my night perfecting an assignment. I now have no idea where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 05:20 - United States - Provo

Today, I was waiting, by myself, for a church meeting to start. Some random guy in about his 50s (I'm 21) came up to me and asked me why I don't have any friends. I played it off like it was a joke, but I had to hold back tears until I could get home 2 hours later. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By blackbear - 12/04/2016 05:11 - United States - New Milford

Today, I finally started to fall asleep around 1 in the morning when I heard a loud noise outside. I looked out my bedroom window to find my trash cans knocked over, garbage all over my driveway, and a fat bear running into the woods with a pizza box. This should be fun to clean in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Work Miscellaneous Embarrassing Food Birthday Narcissistic parents Surprise Family Cops Kids Pregnancy Customers Annoying Love Pranks Coworkers Jealousy Accident ADHD Autism Relatable Mental health Health Gross Cute Medication Friends Mysterious Weird

The Top

Today, I learned what being stabbed in the leg by an ex feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 879

You deserved it 2 408

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 546

You deserved it 2 797

Today, my husband's dick went in the wrong hole. And by the wrong hole, I mean another man’s anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 839

You deserved it 577

Today, I was blocked by a girl I like. She said I was mean for not understanding why she hates when people tell her to smile. I worked as a waiter and hated when people told me to smile all the time. Yet I'm the one who doesn't understand, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 405

Today, I’m going to school to become a therapist. Now anyone I tell that to, they now vomit their life stories to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 391

Today, my date turned up with her baby. Funny she never mentioned she was a single mom. She went to the bathroom and left the baby with me. Can you see where this is going? Yep, security footage showed that she walked out without looking back. I had to give the baby to the police. Shame on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 109