Nearly FMLs

By Sadpregnantwoman - 14/04/2016 18:10 - United States - Houston

Today, I get told that no I am not having a miscarriage. The baby just might be in my tubes instead of the womb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By momostachio - 14/04/2016 18:10 - United States - Nineveh

Today, i got up to help my grandmother get confortable as shes in the hospital. i stepped in what i thought to be water that my sister had spilt, then felt something dripping on my foot. Come to find out the nurse left grannys cathedar open. My grandma was peeing on me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By phuck_this - 14/04/2016 18:04

Today, I recieved a score back on our first test. I completely flunked it. Confused as to why I realized I spent all night studying the wrong chapter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Ohnoezy - 14/04/2016 17:56 - United States - Edison

Today, I'm failing math due to a teacher who has dyslexia, and Constantly writes the wrong answer on the board, which the students always point out. So, i went to the tutor center for help. Good news, i have a tutor. Bad news, it's my math teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By KayPlay - 14/04/2016 17:53 - United States - Selden

Today, I tried introducing a friend to a funny podcast I listen to so I load up the most recent episode. However this happened to be the episode where they discussed a botched vasectomy and the ins and outs of canned ham. Now my friend won't look at me the same way again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By ugh - 14/04/2016 17:47 - United States - Sewell

Today, we were doing archery in gym class. I somehow managed to lodge a piece of the feather on the end of the arrow in my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By itchy and swollen - 14/04/2016 17:34 - United States - Denver

Today, after experiencing sever allergies, I broke down and bought some Zerteck. I took one at night and woke up with my eyes red and swollen to slits... Looks like I'm going to have to put up the allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Nerdgurl86 - 14/04/2016 17:31 - United States

Today, my brother has a date with a woman who asked him out while he was picking up our dinner last night. I'm on several different dating sites and have been for over a year and am still painfully single. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By commandokid - 14/04/2016 17:27 - Canada

Today, my car door decided to pants me. Bad day to go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 17:17 - United States

Today, I found out my divorce was final when my ex's cousin showed me pictures of his wedding to his new wife. I have been divorced two days apparently. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Mthrfukr - 14/04/2016 17:16 - United States - Southborough

Today, after buying a 70 dollar game, my brother sold it for 15 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By ashyash90 - 14/04/2016 17:10 - United States - Sharon

Today, my boss said I interviewed poorly by brining up past job experiences and not exclusively talking about my current job. Apparently showing I have a history of leadership experience isn't a good strategy.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anon - 14/04/2016 17:02 - United States

Today, I finally got my birth control I've been waiting on for a couple of months, that would be great if I wasn't a couple weeks pregnant.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By quitefrankly98 - 14/04/2016 16:55 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I asked my mum to check out some scratches on my back to see if they were infected. She assumed they were from sex and sat me down to give me 'the talk'. They scratches are stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 16:54 - Netherlands

Today, I got my performance results for my full first year in college. Turns out I'm getting a solid 0, I have no credits and no grades. I'm too scared to tell anybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By deathworldwide - 14/04/2016 16:52 - United States - West Covina

Today after picking up my girlfriend from her theatre class, I decided to help her study. Instead of studying, we ended up having a talk on how she sees me more as a friend than a boyfriend. No worries though, as she mentioned several times that she wants to keep me in her life as a best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By shoot me now - 14/04/2016 16:48 - United States - Detroit

Today, I answered my boyfriends phone thinking it was an unknown number so I answered, "City morgue: you kill 'em we chill 'em, how may I help you?" It turned out to be his dad calling on a new number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 16:47 - United States

Today, while at a small festival, a girl offered to give a bag of candy and a cake pop. Because of how crowded the area was, I found myself with a cake pop and what I thought was a bag of blue rock candies. It wasn't until I got in my car that I found out that it wasn't candy. It was rocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 16:47 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I began dating the love of my life. Today is also the day I found out I have a stalker, who proceeded to track me and him down and threaten to kill us with a hunting knife. We're spending our first night in a police station... FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By HappyBirthdayToMe - 14/04/2016 16:29 - United States - Southwest Brevard Cnty

Today, is my birthday. Every year I end up spending the day in bed crying because of one thing or another. This year, I told myself would be different. I booked a flight to Vegas, and kicked the negative people out of my life. Today is also the day I found out my father has cancer. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 16:23 - United States - Charlotte

Today, the men's room at my college was out of toilet paper. There was no janitorial staff around, so I asked a girl walking into the ladies if she would mind bringing me a roll. She pepper sprayed me, screamed "PERVERT! HELP ME" at the top of her lungs, and now I'm on academic suspension. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 14/04/2016 16:05 - United States - Somerville

Today, while I was fundraising, one man threw his cigarette butt into my jar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Purexinsanity - 14/04/2016 15:56 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, my neighbor took my dog from my back yard. He says he won't return her until I return his cat. The cat is also mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By AllisonGrey19 - 14/04/2016 15:55 - United States

Today, I opened a 3 week old banana for my little sister that was still green. My mom told me to go use the big knife in the kitchen, so after a made a blood curdling scream, my mom ran into the kitchen and got pissed because I woke her up. I cut off the tip of my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 2

By NoBabies - 14/04/2016 15:20

Today, my boyfriend vomited for nearly 5 minutes after having found out my dog peed on his sock during the night. This coming from the guy that said that having 4 children makes a good sized family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 1

By Andrew6499 - 14/04/2016 14:31 - United States - Dublin

Today, I farted in science class. It was so loud it caused the hamster we were observing to shit itself and faint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 1

By lovehurts - 14/04/2016 14:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my fiance broke up with me claiming i dont spend time with her, after i invited her to my apartment, bought her new shoes, and even drove the hour to take her to a movie in her city last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 14:22 - India - Chennai

Today, I thought I was doing better with my acne before 10 people came and told me different ways to heal it cause it looks bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By Straight A Student - 14/04/2016 14:18 - United States - Murray

Today, at a job interview, I told the interviewer I had never gotten a B. Apparently, they thought that meant I had below B grades in school. I meant I had straight A's. Guess I won't be getting a call back? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By AllyJoy28 - 14/04/2016 14:01 - United States

Today, I turn 23 tomorrow so I decided to look back on my life. In the last 5 years the only thing that has changed is that I moved back home with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that he sees no future with me. It's alright though, because he says we can still "coast along" until he meets someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 734

You deserved it 2 086

Today, my mother-in-law moved into my wife's two-bedroom apartment. She's quite possibly the reincarnation of Hitler himself, and she'll be staying until this time next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 643

You deserved it 2 505

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 212

You deserved it 5 222

Today, I lovingly simmered a chicken carcass, vegetables and spices to make soup. Two hours it took. After all that, I mindlessly strained out the chicken bones and let the soup pour straight down the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 603

Today, after I met a girl on Tinder I would very much like to date, we finally arranged our first date. As I rushed to my car in my best suit, I had a flat tire. The trains had stopped running, and a taxi to that distance was easily £200. She accused me of being a catfish and blocked my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 111

Today, I was washing my face and I started rinsing the soap off my face with my eyes closed when I felt something gooey on my face. I opened my eyes to realize I had been rubbing snot on my face from when water got up my nose and apparently snot came down with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 116