Work

Unfair

By Flaps - 27/11/2010 12:36 - United States

Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 059

You deserved it 38 626

By Peter - 25/11/2010 10:25

Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 898

You deserved it 2 848

By niceboss - 25/11/2010 02:32 - Singapore

Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 752

You deserved it 2 745

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 198

You deserved it 3 195

You have been warned

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 13:18 - Sweden

Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a Post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 985

You deserved it 41 204

By romedizzle - 24/11/2010 09:52 - Canada

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 496

You deserved it 8 295

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 08:45 - Canada

Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 288

You deserved it 4 157

I just want to go home

By Username - 23/11/2010 20:53

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 845

You deserved it 2 487

By fired - 23/11/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 231

You deserved it 65 557

Booted

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 07:32 - Australia

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 364

You deserved it 3 373

By poomaster - 22/11/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 824

You deserved it 5 173

Bigmouth strikes again

By BlackRavenWings - 21/11/2010 22:36 - United States

Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patient's room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 917

You deserved it 35 766

By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 18:44 - United States

Today, while working as a carhop at Sonic, my roller skates ran over some gravel and I fell, causing me to drop a tray of food. I found out later that one of the customers had deliberately done that to see if I would trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 463

You deserved it 2 812

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, everyone at work was demanding I stage a party at my house. I agreed to it and rushed home to tidy up before the guests arrived. No one showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 521

You deserved it 3 866

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 19:38 - United States

Today, after three weeks of my boss telling me how much he appreciates my hard work and has submitted my name up for a promotion, he called me into his office to announce I'm being laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 180

You deserved it 2 356

Time waster

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 03:34 - United States

Today, I was just about done with my late-night shift at Ralph's. As I was about to put up my "Closed Lane" sign, an elderly women starts putting items on the conveyor belt. The cost was $14.79, and she paid with pennies. It took her ages to count them all, and I wasn't being paid overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 812

You deserved it 4 020

Invasion of the bodysnatchers

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 03:04 - United States

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 444

You deserved it 6 119

By race - 18/11/2010 08:37 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 686

You deserved it 2 681

Freakout

By Anonymous - 17/11/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her Snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face, then tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 913

You deserved it 7 680

Damp patch

By mommy - 17/11/2010 12:09 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I'd caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 528

You deserved it 3 361

By Anonymous - 17/11/2010 10:58 - United States

Today, I started an awesome job with competitive pay. I also found out that the place is closing its doors in June. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 487

You deserved it 2 690

By workaholic - 17/11/2010 07:34

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 288

You deserved it 33 289

By T_Willl - 17/11/2010 03:43

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 999

You deserved it 57 718

By Anonymous - 17/11/2010 01:34 - United States

Today, I began training my replacement at work. She's a senior citizen. She got excited when I taught her how to highlight text on the screen and double-click the mouse because she "never knew how to do those fancy tricks." The job is entirely computer-based. I have to train her for 6 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 723

You deserved it 2 749

Breaking news

By nicolette5785452 - 16/11/2010 15:34 - United States

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 843

You deserved it 13 387

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 07:26

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 166

You deserved it 9 116

It's a coup!

By everythingWASperfect - 13/11/2010 14:43 - Canada

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 320

You deserved it 4 394

By klm878 - 13/11/2010 04:10 - United States

Today, at work, my manager fell in front of an entire lobby full of people on a wet floor. I'm the only one who burst out laughing. Turns out she has a broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 986

You deserved it 37 841

Whoops

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 12:07 - Sweden

Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 890

You deserved it 32 691

Revenge?

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 07:06 - Canada

Today, at work, I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then showed up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 752

You deserved it 5 080

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I competed in my first half marathon since getting my new wheelchair. The mile marker I was meant to follow turned out to be the ex I cheated on. I eventually outpaced her, only to bump into the ex who cheated on me. I’ve gotta stop shitting where I eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 1 617

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 047

You deserved it 5 043

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 863

You deserved it 4 933

Today, after spending Christmas alone because my bus home got cancelled due to Covid, I found that I have to spend the New Year alone and potentially homeless because my flight home got cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 179

Today, my girlfriend, who got married at 19 and divorced at 30, told me how much she regretted wasting all her “hot years” being a good and faithful wife to her ex. Oh and that she never got a “hoe-phase” in college like her friends. I think she’s fishing for my permission to cheat. I’m confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 188

Today, I got fired from my new job. It was the start of my third week, and I got fired for not opening the store. The manager forgot to give me keys to open the store, and was two hours late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 84