Tattoos

Ankle monitor

By Anonymous - 17/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, despite my warnings and knowing I hate them, my wife got a trashy tattoo of an eye on her ankle, like she’s Count Olaf. How is she going to get a job with that thing? FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 749

You big wuss

By Anonymous - 22/08/2023 04:00

Today, the girl I was going to hook up with took off her clothes and revealed she had an absolutely disturbing tattoo of a rotting zombie head on her lower stomach and groin, the idea being that during sex my penis would look like it was in the zombie's mouth. I couldn’t go through with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 241

Disapproving

By Disappointment - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Gresham

Today, I flew home to visit my parents. We haven't seen each other in two years, I've gotten a few tattoos done since, and I knew they wouldn't approve, so I bought whole new outfits that covered everything and looked professional. When I got there, the first thing my mom says to me is, "Is that a nose ring!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 506

You deserved it 2 305

She'll get over it, one day, maybe

By InkedGirl - 14/01/2022 01:59

Today, is the day I got my first tattoo. It's also the day where my mom screamed at me, gave me the silent treatment, and kicked me out of the house. Apparently I’m not considered her daughter anymore, because my skin is “damaged” now. I don’t have other family anywhere, and I have nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 582

Naughty girl

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 22:00 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my mom found out that I got a tattoo two years ago. She got mad and spanked me. I'm 33 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 023

You deserved it 508

Nice

By UnluckyInk - 18/02/2013 08:50 - United States - Manlius

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 330

You deserved it 49 781

Branded

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 00:00

Today, my girlfriend keeps asking me to get her name tattooed on my chest. At first I thought she wanted a romantic gesture, but now she asks me to do it so often, it’s starting to feel more like she wants to cattle brand me as my owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 167

Deep ink

By Wanderlei Santos - 09/07/2020 14:03

Today, I'm going to get my first tattoo. Too bad it's inside my colon so the surgeon can mark the section to remove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 108

Memento

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 03:00

Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 543

Crusin' for a brusin'

By The junkie - 23/10/2022 16:00

Today, I was taking the subway home when some entitled fuck called me a "junkie", all because I'm long-haired and have my arms covered in tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 243

He certainly has a type

By tattooed - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend told me one of the main reasons he started dating me was because I have the same name as his ex, whose name he has tattooed on his back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 136

You deserved it 3 860

Lucky

By mislabelled mother - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I got my first tattoo. I didn't realise that the font I chose uses a fancy capital L that can easily be mistaken for a capital F. It looks like I have "I'm A Good Fuck Charm" tattooed on my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 6 264

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 05:15 - Australia

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 319

You deserved it 43 610

Criminals

By Jonny - 22/09/2021 20:01

Today, I heard from my little nephews that in school, the father of one of their peers has his arms all covered in tattoos. Their grandpa told my nephews to stay away from people with tattoos, as they were likely criminals and wanting to kidnap children. He doesn't know I have a tattoo in my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 193

Tattoos are for life

By Anonymous - 08/10/2021 11:01

Today, my husband cried more at the funeral of his tattoo artist than he did at his grandmother's funeral. Seriously, at the artist's funeral, he was crying; at his grandmother's, he kept checking the time on his phone and yawning. What man did I marry? FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 384

Spooked

By thatescalatedquickly - 07/11/2013 08:52 - United States - Collierville

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 161

You deserved it 7 288

A teenage dream's so hard to beat…

By parenting fail - 20/09/2020 20:01 - United States

Today, my stepdaughter proudly showed off her new tattoo. It says "Jace’s place" in sloppy script on her lower belly. She’s 15. Jace is a boy she’s been seeing for 3 months. She got the tattoo in "some guy’s garage." It happened during her weekend visit with her father. Hello teenage rebellion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 194

Possession

By Anonymous - 10/07/2023 18:00

Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 150

Subway creeper

By Anonymous - 08/07/2025 00:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 967

Such a nice guy

By Anonymous - 14/01/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, the only girl who likes me is a girl who is overweight and uses body acceptance as a reason to get mad at me for turning her down. Call me shallow but as someone who works out frequently, I don't want someone who douses herself with tattoos, thinking guys will fetishize her, instead of self-care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 587

Jumping the gun

By Kelsie - 26/08/2023 22:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 2 068

Proud boy

By Spaghetto - 10/10/2021 11:00 - United States

Today, I had an argument with my brother after discovering his new Confederate flag tattoo. His main response was, "It's about heritage, not hate!" We're third generation Italians from New Jersey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 163

Tasteful

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Greenwich

Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 294

Inked

By Kat - 31/08/2012 01:08 - United States - Tiverton

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 636

You deserved it 5 944

Parenting 101

By butihelppaythebills - 10/10/2022 01:00

Today, I got a tattoo. My mom got upset and threw a bitch fit about how my body "is a temple and it belongs to God.” I told her, “My body, my choice.” She responded with, “Oh really? Well, my house, my choice who lives here. Pack your shit and get the fuck out.” I’m currently in my car with nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 1 380

By Mylifesintatterssendhelp - 12/11/2018 03:00

Today, I went to a tattoo artist to get what I thought would be really cute, elegant finger tattoos. I left with wobbly, blobby messes all over my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 2 774

Acceptance

By Anonymous - 26/11/2023 05:00

Today, I went to my son's parent teacher conference. Imagine my shock when I found out his second grade teacher is the girl I chastised at Walmart yesterday for being covered in trashy tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 1 965

Self-respect?

By Susie - 10/03/2023 12:00

Today, I’ve spent ages trying to achieve the shade of red hair, getting various similar tattoos, and getting green contacts so I can be the exact replica of the girl my ex-fiancé left me for so I can win him back. He still prefers to be with her. What else am I missing then? FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 3 062

Permission denied

By Eliz - 20/07/2022 00:00

Today, I decided it was a good day to get my first tattoo since turning 18. Today, my parents decided it was a good day to make me homeless, because they are religious nutjobs that still live in the 19th century. Oh, and they’re no longer paying for my tuition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 1 318

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 06:00 - Australia

Today, I checked my Tumblr account to see if anyone had commented on the photos of my new tattoo. There were only 3 posts, and 2 of them were people linking it to "Awful Tattoo" blogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 027

You deserved it 6 299

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The Top

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 230

You deserved it 2 522

Today, my roommate barged into my bedroom while my girlfriend and I were getting intimate. She freaked out and spun off of me trying to cover herself. I'm now in the hospital with a fractured dingle-dangle. What did he want that was so important? To ask if he could eat last pack of Pop-Tarts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 218

You deserved it 412

Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 295

Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 217

Today, I made homemade pasta from scratch. I spent hours kneading the dough, rolling it out, and cutting it into perfect strips. When I went to cook it, I realized that I forgot to add salt to the dough. The pasta tasted like damp cardboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 285

Today, my grandpa’s estate is being sued. Over his career as a cross country truck driver, he impregnated dozens of women, some of which were underage. Now so many of them are suing, my grandma might lose the house that’s been in our family for generations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 130