Your everyday life stories

danimal_crackerz - 03/08/2015 17:26 - United States - Coventry

Today, I was at a bar. When asked if I wanted a refill of my coffee, I said yes, and moved the cup from my lap to the counter. As I did this, the waitress spilled hot coffee right into my crotch. FML

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danimal_crackerz

danimal_crackerz 26

Tuesday 4 August 2015 6:19

Hi, it's the OP here. I'd just like to say, thanks for all the laughs in the comments, may have made the trip down to the ER worth it. Looks looks like no kind of coffee is in my future, after this happening my first time trying it, after being prodded by an older sibling who brought me (to the bar). I'm sure this will be a story to laugh about for years to come - and a lesson to all: move the cup first. ?

suosi - 26/07/2015 17:55 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

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queenbee - 14/06/2015 13:31 - United States - Media

Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML

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schober60 - 10/05/2015 01:30 - United States

Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

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schober60

schober60 13

Sunday 10 May 2015 15:26

On the bright side it didn't land between the seats..

Anonymous - 30/07/2015 21:50 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

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Stuck

canessadawn - - United States - Portland

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

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fugly - 06/06/2015 00:44 - United States - Landenberg

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

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Scatterbrained

getoffthephone - - United Kingdom

Today, while waiting for the bus, I googled walking directions to my destination, in case I had already missed the bus. I was so absorbed in my search that I missed the bus. FML

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novaguy - 24/02/2015 16:15 - United States

Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML

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socialix - 19/04/2015 01:03 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML

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Red tape

Matei - 12/03/2015 00:36 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, after 4 years of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new chairs for my subordinates. The logistics people came and concluded that there are more broken chairs than good ones, but suggested that perhaps we should all go on a diet. FML

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someboody - 15/08/2015 16:50 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, I discovered that my mom bought roll on stick glue that looks quite a bit like deodorant. It was early in the morning and I was groggy. Long story short, I had to cut every one of my pit hairs. FML

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zheiraT - 22/05/2015 19:44 - United States - South Portland

Today, I walked into my boss's office to ask for a raise, and walked out unemployed. FML

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Detained

Anonymous - 25/02/2015 10:33 - Australia - Maddington

Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML

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Skill issue or…?

Realworldred - - United States - Scranton

Today, my sister started a full-time job with a good pay despite having no prior work experience and being a college freshman. Meanwhile, I've graduated with two degrees, have been working two jobs for the last five years, and still can't get a full-time position anywhere. FML

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Morning!

whydoihavecats - - United Kingdom

Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML

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JustSom - 05/05/2015 02:03 - United States - Falls Church

Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML

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thebiteof87 - 01/06/2015 12:06 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was having a panic attack so I went to my mum for support. She blocked her ears because my heavy breathing was annoying her. FML

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thebiteof87

thebiteof87 27

Wednesday 3 June 2015 11:52

Hey OP here It's interesting reading all the comments that you guys are writing. It's interesting how a lot of you are saying that my mum has misophonia, which i agree with since she always gets annoyed when she hears me chewing, sneezing or just making loud, repetitive noises, but it still hurt me that she did that. She does have her own problems with anxiety herself, but at the time she was just watching tv so i went and sat next to her. We are pretty close but there is a bit of a communication gap here and there. I get a lot of anxiety due to the fact that i am a transgender boy and i'm going through a lot. Therapy and medication don't seem to help my anxiety though. Thx for the support.