The Top

Hey, OP here. I'm finally gonna answer some of your questions: 1. Yes, i do believe it was a set up. The woman and the thiefs were definitely working together. 2. They were old skis, I bought myself a pair of awesome new ones later :) 3. I didn't go skiing alone. I live in Switzerland and was helping a friend of mine -who is an elementary school teacher- as a skiing instructor for his 9 year old school kids. He teaches and lives in a tiny village about an hour from where I live, and since I don't have a car, I went there by train. So obviously i rode the train back home alone. The only good thing about the whole story is that I didn't have to carry my skis back home. ha. ha. Feel free to message me, if you have any questions.

By Sleepy head - 07/10/2013 01:34 - United States

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 806

You deserved it 15 059

By lexithepirate - 30/12/2014 18:40 - United States - Adrian

Today, I called asking about a job I interviewed for 3 weeks ago. It's a scummy call center where known drug addicts work. They told me I wasn't getting the job. I guess my high school diploma and being drug-free makes me not good enough to work there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 4 764

By Eli - 20/09/2011 00:21 - Canada

Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 565

You deserved it 3 257

Queen

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 15:34 - United States

Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 741

You deserved it 16 276

Intervention

By _Tatyana_ - 13/06/2013 07:05 - United States - Gettysburg

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 032

You deserved it 3 628

By MyBallsForSaleOnEbay - 21/08/2015 15:25 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 163

You deserved it 7 269

By Hopslammer - 17/06/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 242

You deserved it 49 085

By Anonymous - 31/01/2014 22:08 - United States - Blue Earth

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 434

You deserved it 9 070

By stairmaster - 05/04/2011 07:47

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 435

You deserved it 45 896

By bellsucker - 04/08/2012 22:15 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 192

You deserved it 1 979

Typecasting

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 982

You deserved it 5 108

I bet you're wondering how I ended up here

By Nekro_Kat - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 112

You deserved it 3 961

By 5220 - 21/04/2009 13:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 842

You deserved it 4 634

By RitaDahhlinnnng - 25/08/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 026

You deserved it 10 834

Dumbasses

By Anonymous - 16/08/2013 21:05 - United States - Nevada

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 541

You deserved it 6 356

Sorry, but…

By Anonymous - 27/09/2011 04:15 - United States

Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 626

You deserved it 2 608

Going well, is it?

By Elizabeth - 29/07/2011 19:56 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 914

You deserved it 5 480

Dorito Man

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 23:50 - United States - Parker

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of Doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the Doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 992

You deserved it 7 692

By pennyhater - 07/10/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, I was locked inside my dorm room. Yeah, inside. How? Some of my floormates decided to stick pennies in the door frame, which jammed the handle. I was stuck inside my room and had to pee really bad. I couldn't call an RA to get me out either. Why? I'm the RA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 383

You deserved it 5 020

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my dad discovered my daughter’s OnlyFans account. I’ll let you do the math on that one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 329

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 639

You deserved it 2 550

Still cute though.

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 87

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a 1 day cruise to the Bahamas. It happened to be on the same day of the worst sailing conditions. We spent 6 hours throwing up together. Him into the sink, and me into the toilet. We spent $200 to see the inside of our cabin's bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 813

You deserved it 3 603

Today, I did laundry after weeks of procrastinating. Feeling accomplished, I wore a freshly cleaned hoodie to work. Halfway through the day, I discovered my niece’s Paw Patrol underwear clinging to the inside of my hood. I’d been walking around with Chase the Police Dog flapping behind my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 206

Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 398

You deserved it 6 598