The Top

I went to the store manager who said "what do you expect? You don't make 22 cakes a day." That level is for mass production I am put on specialty orders 90% of the time. He didn't care

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 19:43 - United States - Nutley

Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 663

You deserved it 2 550

By grannysmack - 11/07/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 889

You deserved it 6 561

Check 'em

By David H. - 23/12/2010 08:18

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 009

You deserved it 7 782

Ewwwww

By EwFace - 06/06/2009 16:23 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said, "Eww!" The boy then asked, "What's "ew" mean?" I replied, "Something gross and yucky." Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 628

You deserved it 8 912

It's funny because it's true

By screwed - 22/05/2009 00:18 - United States

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 801

You deserved it 12 686

By sickkid - 23/11/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 69

By monquiqui - 04/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 119

You deserved it 3 927

By Anonymous - 27/06/2011 23:45 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend tried to climb up to my third story window in the early hours of the morning. Just before he got to the top, he slipped and fell to the ground. My dad had to drive him to the hospital at 3am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 914

You deserved it 7 723

Epipen time!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 17:06 - Canada

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 001

You deserved it 13 279

By armenta427 - 07/10/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents are 28,000 dollars in debt and that my bank account has $27.17 in it. They took my money to help pay their debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 966

You deserved it 3 345

By McFuckYouTooCunt - 11/06/2015 13:44 - Australia - Bellevue Hill

Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 821

You deserved it 2 121

By kiken.bara - 06/01/2013 08:17 - United States

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I saw his newly updated Facebook status, which read, "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 982

You deserved it 7 508

By WTFsalad - 18/02/2010 02:46 - United States

Today, I was leaving Wal-Mart with my daughter when a man was speeding the wrong way in the parking lot. To avoid getting hit, I pulled over to the side. He thought I was going the wrong way. He got out cursing and screaming and punched a dent in my hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 963

You deserved it 2 451

Assigned bald at birth

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out I'm balding faster than my dad. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 351

You deserved it 3 261

By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 04:39 - United States - Portland

Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 620

You deserved it 21 655

By myself - 20/09/2012 07:00 - United States - Seaside

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 475

You deserved it 31 263

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The Top

Today, I found out that masturbating on an airplane isn't frowned upon like they say in the movie 'The Hangover'. It's actually illegal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 3 000

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he'd resolved all the issues with his ex and is getting back together with her. Normally I could tolerate this if it weren't for the fact that I just moved to a different country to live with him, and turned down a university and a scholarship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 301

You deserved it 58 434

Today, it was my best friend's wedding. The night ended with her in tears outside her hotel suite, where she confessed that she has a serious crush on me. I have a serious crush on her too. We're both straight women. I'm really confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 180

Today, I woke up and every single one of my friends, coworkers, and even my own family members have decided they all hate me, for no apparent reason. Several of them have even told me to kill myself. I have no idea what I did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 273

Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 382

You deserved it 9 639

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how hard it is to wash long hair. While I was talking, he interrupted and said, "Wait, you actually wash your hair?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 485

You deserved it 191