Embarrassing, Drunk Health You played yourself - FML

You played yourself

anon - 25/03/2013 18:31 - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

12 121

68 707

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

12 641

34 471

Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

2 212

600

Anonymous - 09/12/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

27 646

3 880

All over the place

nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

27 692

8 854

Worst party ever

Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML

893

4 077

HeadStillHurts - 26/10/2016 11:43

Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML

6 684

8 829

Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

16 574

11 431

Grant Williams - 07/05/2019 17:37

Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML

1 265

823

nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

16 671

40 157

Joe Smooth move

Karel - 24/09/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a friend's party and tried to lean casually against a wall while talking to someone. I missed the wall and ended up stumbling backwards into the punch bowl that was atop the coffee table. FML

226

366

Tpracingkg 15

Monday 25 March 2013 23:06

Darwinism

theherd 4

Monday 25 March 2013 23:05

Bye children!

Stefanie88 24

Tuesday 26 March 2013 0:54

Are we suppose to feel sorry for you?

limitedition 25

Tuesday 26 March 2013 1:10

You are ready for the "jackass" crew.

Azula272 14

Tuesday 26 March 2013 1:21

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Czech_Zidane 14

Tuesday 26 March 2013 1:26

And what do you expect from us? "Poor OP"? No good, at least you are not going to hear anything like that from me.

ni0ve 9

Tuesday 26 March 2013 1:31

fml that it happened or fml that u can't remember?

vbmg152 18

Tuesday 26 March 2013 1:39

Any FML that includes the words " I was so drunk" is an automatic YDI from me!

redblueflame 23

Tuesday 26 March 2013 1:51

Where did you get a taser from whilst drunk?! Also, of all the places to pick, why the hell did you think it'd be funny to take a taser too your OWN balls?! Even if your drunk that is still completely ridiculous.

Inciter 33

Tuesday 26 March 2013 1:51

How do you get so drunk that you taze yourself?

advent2060 4

Tuesday 26 March 2013 1:59

Why the **** would any one vote that ur life sucks its your own fault, YDI with out a doubt

taylor714 7

Tuesday 26 March 2013 2:30

how drunk do you have to be to do that

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my wife yelled at me for putting away her rain coat and two sweaters that were hanging on the back of chairs. Because, “I was about to do that!” My mistake. They had only been there for a week. Ah, marital bliss. FML

450

87

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

43 096

6 021

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

8 817

819

Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends. She didn't know which one I was. FML

36 387

11 575

Today, our canteen served soup. I have Tourette's. It would have been fine, hadn't the only free seat been across from another person with Tourette's. When two people with Tourette's meet, their tics can increase tenfold. It was a splashing match. FML

1 263

130

Today, my 5 year-old announced she’s “pregnant” and rubbed her tummy. I told her that it was impossible, since you have to be a grownup to get pregnant. She said that her oversized teddy bear made her “pregnant” and began humping him while sing-songing the word “pregnant.” No idea who taught her that. FML

1 357

241