Intimacy: Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond... - FML

By possibly fucked - 22/06/2014 20:34 - Portugal - Lisbon

Spicy

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 934

You deserved it 9 562

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Same thing different taste

By Average Lover - 27/10/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 767

You deserved it 773

Freaky

By Anonymous - 27/08/2010 09:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex yet, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite." Now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

You deserved it 5 025

TMI, DUDE!

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 10:00

Spicy

Today, it might be the day I ask my wife to peg me. Hope it goes well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 1 291

Bigger than...

By Jim - 26/11/2019 16:00 - Canada - Winfield

Spicy

Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 545

You deserved it 542

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By Anonymous - 30/11/2021 14:01

Spicy

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 173

By Anonymous - 11/03/2016 22:09 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Spicy

Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 890

You deserved it 20 855

Karma police

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, six months after my wife convinced me to open our relationship, I finally scored with a lovely lady. My wife threw the biggest fit in history. Apparently, she just wanted to fuck other men and didn't think anyone would be interested in me, and now she feels inadequate and threatened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 367

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 20/05/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 110

By jigglypluff - 19/11/2014 05:27 - United States - Omaha

Spicy

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 318

You deserved it 4 951

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286 075

You deserved it 68 252

Next

Top comments

A1BROS 4

Monday 23 June 2014 1:50

Sounds like a real pain in the ass.

itwasthedognotme 14

Monday 23 June 2014 1:49

Time to strap-on your seatbelt and drive far, far away..

Comments

FML_67fg 1

Monday 23 June 2014 4:21

50 shades of terrifying

SnowFangedBeauty 19

Monday 23 June 2014 4:22

well shit....kinky and not in a good way

ultra_notorious 26

Monday 23 June 2014 4:22

sounds like she wants to peg you. be a good sport and go for it!

zmearle13 5

Monday 23 June 2014 4:23

Prepare your anus.

SparksTheSadie 18

Monday 23 June 2014 4:24

Don't worry, it's quite fun. I wish my wife would do it...

southernpride567 8

Monday 23 June 2014 4:24

Bend over and grab your ankles bish.

madie_8 10

Monday 23 June 2014 4:24

What's a strap on

ThatSweaterGuy 6

Monday 23 June 2014 4:24

That could only mean two things :/

ckcknight 13

Monday 23 June 2014 4:26

We need the OP to follow up. How did he find out about it. I mean did she just walk in drop it on the table and leave him there afraid to move. Did he over hear her talking to a friend. I mean as much as it sounds like he may be getting the shaft, it could be something completely different.

ColonelCusswords 24

Monday 23 June 2014 4:30

RUN ************!!!

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The Top

The Top

Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 455

You deserved it 10 205

Today, I knew my mom wanted to go out to dinner with me and my sisters, and I couldn't remember why, so I called her and said, "Why are we going out to dinner?" and she goes, "Well, we always have." I forgot today's the anniversary of my stepdad dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 594

Today, I saw that the man who got me pregnant, and swore that if I kept it he'd run away to Asia, and his new girlfriend announced their pregnancy on social media. They both seem to be very happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 233

Today, there was a baby shower for our first child. My hostess invited 75 people. Only 3 people showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 541

You deserved it 478

Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 431

You deserved it 6 693

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 297

You deserved it 3 728