Miscellaneous: Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the...

By ppema - 31/07/2015 18:28 - United States

Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML

agreeclassic 27 823

vote type 1 2 243

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By Anonymous - 08/05/2018 19:00

Today, I went to a cute frog-themed frozen yogurt shop that was surprisingly realistic. So realistic, in fact, that there was a dead fly in my yogurt. I found it with my tongue. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was in my local supermarket's frozen aisle and I started doing a little dance of joy because my favorite ice cream was on sale. I turned around to see my ex and his new girlfriend watching me. FML

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By AshamedDaughter - 17/08/2011 07:14 - Canada

Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML

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By brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

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By traumatized - 18/06/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

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By Jello - 26/02/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML

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New one

By Anonymous - 07/02/2020 12:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I closed my eyes while my boyfriend was fingering me, and I felt a cold liquid inside me. I opened my eyes, and he was pouring yogurt into me. He said “I wanted to try something new.” FML

agreeclassic 3 534

vote type 1 482

Good intentions, but…

By miseventshappen - 09/11/2009 05:49 - United States

Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML

agreeclassic 41 685

vote type 1 5 014

By your mother - 13/10/2010 09:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML

agreeclassic 12 227

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By IrNatalie - 02/06/2015 08:59 - United States - Laveen

Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML

agreeclassic 29 717

vote type 1 1 897

qdawg06 23

Saturday 1 August 2015 1:13

Clever x10 but also creepy x100

Killz268 18

Saturday 1 August 2015 1:12

what a thug haha

Comments

amileah13 26

Saturday 1 August 2015 1:26

That's not creepy at all. Totally not.

Ruskiy_Cherep 18

Saturday 1 August 2015 1:26

Cherry-poppin good!!

FMyLyricalAnus 11

Saturday 1 August 2015 1:45

Thug life dad level 100

Swandive235 27

Saturday 1 August 2015 5:24

That name, the ****? lol

MeltedMango 8

Saturday 1 August 2015 1:46

I hope to God that that pickup line didn't actually work.

ChristinePi 36

Saturday 1 August 2015 1:59

Your father's kind of an ass. Sorry OP.

limegreenpoopie 31

Saturday 1 August 2015 2:02

Embarrassing -___- I'm so sorry.

RusticChick 27

Saturday 1 August 2015 2:08

He sounds classy.

WOTAN1488 24

Saturday 1 August 2015 2:12

Classic.

DogeDogeDoge 13

Saturday 1 August 2015 2:13

Waiting for all the feminist to attack.

beeferjay 34

Saturday 1 August 2015 2:42

WATCH AND LEARN SON

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Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML

agreeclassic 35 534

vote type 1 10 466

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

agreeclassic 55 523

vote type 1 5 498

Today, I spent the first day of the New Year helping out at an old folks' home. I was assigned to watch over a group which includes the delightful Ernie, an 83 year-old delusional man who sees absolutely no problem with showing off "what the good lord gave him" every chance he gets. FML

agreeclassic 30 747

vote type 1 3 990

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

agreeclassic 11 929

vote type 1 59 194

Today, I was asked a security question by my bank's app when I tried using it after a year. After two to three wrong attempts, I got it correct with the answer, "Myself." The question was, "Who was your childhood friend?" FML

agreeclassic 1 461

vote type 1 299

Today, for the first time ever, my family bought a real Christmas tree instead of using our old fake one. Today, I also found out I'm allergic to Christmas trees. My family won't get rid of it because they paid so much for it and intend to "get their money's worth". FML

agreeclassic 33 350

vote type 1 3 494