Love, Embarrassing Awkward Old dog, new tricks

Old dog, new tricks

Anonymous - - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Dead giveaway

Minabee - 04/02/2010 18:28 - United States

Today, I'm meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In doing so, I accidentally touched my neck with the iron, and I now have a burn there that look a lot like a hickey. FML

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tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

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Anonymous - 24/09/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

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Purple rain, purple rain

wtf?! - 30/05/2020 05:00

Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML

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Neckbruise101 - 15/10/2016 06:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML

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sexxibxmami - 19/02/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

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The truth will set you free

Imnotfromhere - 29/08/2021 23:01

Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML

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StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

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anonymous - 04/10/2017 20:51

Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML

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Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

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DeathByFalchion 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

Not THAT big of a deal if it happened to your mom too.

mhmmhmgood 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

haa, ive used that one too

seven_to_twelve 3

Monday 7 September 2009 8:26

What's the big deal about your mom knowing you have a hickey?

f_u_u_f_f 0

Monday 7 September 2009 8:26

next time use concealer (skin-toned makeup) to hide it

LatinoHeat 0

Monday 7 September 2009 8:30

YDI for imagining that Clay Aiken gave you that hickey.

fMYYYlife 0

Monday 7 September 2009 8:37

Today, after having gone to bed last night scared believing I was pregnant, I woke up to see if I began my menstrual cycle. I looked down my pants to see that I did and began cheering and dancing. My mom saw and understood all of it. FML

fMYYYlife 0

Monday 7 September 2009 8:53

Yeah but it got denied.. so i posted it in a cmment. :)

hahahaloser 0

Monday 7 September 2009 8:47

http://swagbucks.com/?cmd=sb-register&rb=959195. sick stuff

ayy 0

Monday 7 September 2009 9:02

Oh so they had hair straighteners when you mom was young now did they??

lizzzie_fml 0

Monday 7 September 2009 9:06

They started using straighteners as far back as the 1960s, so unless the OP is 30 - then yea, her mom probably had some.

lettertjes 0

Monday 7 September 2009 12:23

If OP's mother was the same age as her daughter when she lied about it, that happened probably around 30 years ago. And 1979 isn't what I would call the stone age or something.

infinitycsm 0

Friday 18 September 2009 18:10

Actually while the hair straightener had been invented earlier, it didn't become a household item until the mid to late 90's. Prior to that, you had your hair straightened by a professional.

eatmynuggets 0

Monday 7 September 2009 10:17

I don't see how this is an fml..

DameGreyWulf 0

Monday 7 September 2009 11:41

Aw, people bashing hickeys... so what if someone wants to suck skin on their partner? Some people find it sexy... after all, your neck and throat is highly sensualized.