Love, Embarrassing Awkward Old dog, new tricks

Old dog, new tricks

Anonymous - - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Dead giveaway

Minabee - 04/02/2010 18:28 - United States

Today, I'm meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In doing so, I accidentally touched my neck with the iron, and I now have a burn there that look a lot like a hickey. FML

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tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

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Anonymous - 24/09/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

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Purple rain, purple rain

wtf?! - 30/05/2020 05:00

Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML

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Neckbruise101 - 15/10/2016 06:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML

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sexxibxmami - 19/02/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

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The truth will set you free

Imnotfromhere - 29/08/2021 23:01

Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML

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StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

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anonymous - 04/10/2017 20:51

Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML

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Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

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DeathByFalchion 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

Not THAT big of a deal if it happened to your mom too.

mhmmhmgood 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

haa, ive used that one too

SMBroskie 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:32

I burnt your mother with a hair straightener.

molitov 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 2:29

not an FML.. ure mom is cool with it obviously

ShakeZula7 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 10:09

And you care, why?

Supeer_ninja 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 22:56

dont worry, the same thing happened to me lmao

Daddys_Defect 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 0:49

Yup, ive used that excuse before. But by now no one even says anything to me anymore.

plo_koon 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 5:49

not an FML.

lulujay 0

Friday 30 October 2009 20:45

lol same thing happened to me but my mom bought it and just gave me something to put on it so it wouldn't scar lol

MissSmiley613 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 7:40

thats a good one!!! ill use that next time;)

mariahrawks 0

Wednesday 28 April 2010 4:42

i'm watching the george lopez episode where carmen gets a hickey. :)

FreakingFYou 13

Monday 3 January 2011 7:04

so why is she mad?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I gave my little brother my iPhone so he could play a game. I soon forgot about it, and when I got it back two hours later, there was pudding and a couple of big cracks in it. FML

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Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

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Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML

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Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

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Today, I had to listen to my mum and grandma planning a funeral for my grandpa. Who isn't dead yet. FML

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