Health, Cute Skincare Manly man - FML

Manly man

takinabreak - - United States

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "Radiance Ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "Radiance Ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Glitterati

Anonymous - 22/03/2023 12:00

Today, my girlfriend and her friends mocked my "fragile masculinity" because I bought men's body wash instead of sharing her body wash. Her body wash is full of glitter, which irritates my skin horribly. FML

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Bubbles

soapgirl - 13/08/2009 16:07 - Philippines

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

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Anonymous - 21/06/2019 04:30

Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML

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Tasty snack

Anonymous - 16/07/2023 11:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML

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Fancy a snatch? A *snack, sorry.

Crabcake - 21/09/2017 19:30 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my husband bought a luxury soap that smells like lemons. Now, every time I wash my private parts in the shower, it smells like a special at Red Lobster. FML

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Anonyme - 27/03/2015 09:50 - France - Laill

Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML

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miss tomato - 08/06/2012 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

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SummersEve - 12/02/2010 00:47 - United States

Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML

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IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

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chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

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barroomhero 0

Friday 10 July 2009 23:05

It's okay, every girl who sees you will jump you.

Fml37 0

Friday 10 July 2009 23:06

You don't sparkle, you flame :p

screwlife23 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 5:22

thats hot.

shawnnorrie 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 11:07

agreed #27

shawnnorrie 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 11:09

#87

twilightluver347 7

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:31

awesome!

thirdbase1733 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 5:07

jeez this twilight fans are getting out of hand. anyone wanna join we in an uprising?

eehizle 0

Monday 15 March 2010 2:19

sparkles make ANYTHING gay. vampires used to be cool. now they all remind me of huge fags. team potter.

arichan_fml 0

Friday 26 March 2010 4:24

ewwww now you're like Edward Cullen! what a douche.

lillypilly35 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 22:03

are you a vampire?

Webb_Div_Clemm 0

Sunday 11 April 2010 8:46

Fuuuuck thats funny!!!! unfortunate, but funny!!! prepare to hav teenage fans!!

sexybitch92 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 5:08

211: twilight is way better then stupid anime.. you must be a nerd .&+. OP: keep using it so You can sparkle like Edward.!!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML

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Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

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Today, in the middle of what I thought was an empty park, I told my dog he’s the “goodest, bestest boy” while out on a walk. A stranger appeared out of nowhere, gave me a thumbs-up, and said, “You too, champ.” FML

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Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

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Today, my boyfriend told me he had a catphobia, but I forgot to tell him my mom has a new kitten, so when we went round he freaked out so much trying to escape this tiny kitten following him, it reminded me very much of Captain Hook trying to escape being eaten by the crocodile. FML

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Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

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