Health, Cute Skincare Manly man - FML

Manly man

takinabreak - - United States

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "Radiance Ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "Radiance Ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Glitterati

Anonymous - 22/03/2023 12:00

Today, my girlfriend and her friends mocked my "fragile masculinity" because I bought men's body wash instead of sharing her body wash. Her body wash is full of glitter, which irritates my skin horribly. FML

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Bubbles

soapgirl - 13/08/2009 16:07 - Philippines

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

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Anonymous - 21/06/2019 04:30

Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML

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Tasty snack

Anonymous - 16/07/2023 11:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML

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Fancy a snatch? A *snack, sorry.

Crabcake - 21/09/2017 19:30 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my husband bought a luxury soap that smells like lemons. Now, every time I wash my private parts in the shower, it smells like a special at Red Lobster. FML

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Anonyme - 27/03/2015 09:50 - France - Laill

Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML

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miss tomato - 08/06/2012 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

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SummersEve - 12/02/2010 00:47 - United States

Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML

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IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

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chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

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barroomhero 0

Friday 10 July 2009 23:05

It's okay, every girl who sees you will jump you.

Fml37 0

Friday 10 July 2009 23:06

You don't sparkle, you flame :p

MRVOlivia 22

Friday 9 September 2011 22:11

OMG ITS EDWARD THE VAMPIRE!!!!!!!!!!!

vnbritt 0

Monday 12 September 2011 5:43

This would be much funnier if your name was Edward.

Blahdidaah 2

Tuesday 13 September 2011 0:12

Vampire! Watch out, you'll have random chicks who have no idea what the meaning of self-preservation is throwing themselves off cliffs for you.

ZeroIce 12

Wednesday 14 September 2011 15:56

vampire??? ... nah :3

jdawg2010 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 2:27

edward Cullen?

vegetarian982 0

Sunday 16 October 2011 5:50

You can now be a "vampire"

LatinLad 7

Sunday 16 October 2011 22:34

The life of Edward Cullen...

bethnoire 10

Saturday 22 October 2011 8:29

Forget Edward Cullen. He'll be mistaken for an off-duty drag queen. Then again, off-duty drag queens are far more interesting than Twilight vampires.

laurenm487 6

Monday 7 November 2011 3:51

Hahahaa vampire!!!!

awesomelikethat 0

Saturday 19 November 2011 19:31

Next time ask a girl before you use something femine looking.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

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Today, I messaged the guy I've been seeing for 4 months, referring to him as my boyfriend. His response? "I didn't realize you had a boyfriend." FML

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Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML

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Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML

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Today, I got chewed out by my boss for not doing my job. Turns out what's described in my job description, contract, and job title isn't my job. My real job is outlined in the footnote of my contract. FML

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Today, I've applied to 300 jobs in the past 4 months, gotten 7 interview, 2 of which have gone to a third round and I'm still unemployed. FML

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