Love, Health Gross Ewwwwwww

Ewwwwwww

Anonymous - - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

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davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

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sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

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shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

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My love language is…

BlueBirdWings - 31/05/2019 02:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

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The Taste of Love

Anonymous - 05/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML

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Seduction technique

BlueBirdWings - 06/03/2012 07:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

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Tasty

Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

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Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

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Say it, don't spray it

grossedout - - United States

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

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redbluegreen 40

Friday 18 February 2011 11:50

As if it needed to be said, her actions were snot for the greater good.

Doortje 29

Friday 18 February 2011 12:08

Oh my.. *shudders* *shudders again* Brr. Yuck.

Flocka_23 14

Monday 26 September 2011 6:27

Your girlfriend is gross

WhatIsSanity 2

Monday 19 December 2011 11:19

thats disgusting... get a new girlfriend.

BlAzEtHiS 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 3:33

That's some nasty ass shit. She'd be my ex real quick for that, might even dot her eye.

claiiire_fml 17

Thursday 12 January 2012 10:52

That's disgusting.

kimono_fml 17

Sunday 11 March 2012 20:43

Need a new gf for sure, that's sick

monique8axel 6

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:30

Leave that bitch ewww..... >.

THEsuperMANLYman 10

Wednesday 28 March 2012 5:51

Ewww

LizzJizz 16

Sunday 24 June 2012 19:38

Now that's some raunchy shit right there

smithv171 17

Sunday 22 September 2013 4:53

that's disgusting. but if u knew she was, why didn't you push her away.. ?

cccccccchrissss 4

Wednesday 29 April 2015 13:41

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I texted my boyfriend, asking him to meet me when he finished work. Paranoid as he is, he took this to mean that I wanted to break up with him, and is ghosting me into oblivion. All I wanted was to see him on our 4-year anniversary. FML

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Today, I went to a costume party dressed as a giant inflatable dinosaur. I got stuck in the elevator and had to be deflated to get out. FML

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Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML

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Today, I was walking back to campus with my boyfriend when we passed an Irish pub called "Fat Belly's." He put his arm around me, patted my stomach, and said "Yay! It's your restaurant!" FML

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Today, I was volunteering at a soup kitchen and was advised to leave my wallet and cell phone in my car so they wouldn’t be stolen. Someone broke into my car and stole them. FML

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Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce, and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting another taxi from his place. FML

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