Love, Health Gross Ewwwwwww

Ewwwwwww

Anonymous - - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

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davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

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sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

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shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

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My love language is…

BlueBirdWings - 31/05/2019 02:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

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The Taste of Love

Anonymous - 05/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML

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Seduction technique

BlueBirdWings - 06/03/2012 07:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

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Tasty

Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

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Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

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Say it, don't spray it

grossedout - - United States

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

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redbluegreen 40

Friday 18 February 2011 11:50

As if it needed to be said, her actions were snot for the greater good.

Doortje 29

Friday 18 February 2011 12:08

Oh my.. *shudders* *shudders again* Brr. Yuck.

maddyjayneexox 4

Saturday 19 February 2011 21:02

haha that's nasty...next time simply pull away if it happens and kiss her neck or something...

salsalover_12 5

Sunday 20 February 2011 1:10

i gagged and threw up in my mouth a bit

HSP 0

Monday 21 February 2011 0:32

This is so well known, why do girls keep doing this? -.-'

Countrygrrl88 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 3:28

Time for a new girlfriend?

domosumo 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 11:00

That better be a really hot pig you were kissing..

AcidReign 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 23:30

She better be worth it, and she better be grateful you didn't dump her

Susatayy 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 5:55

wow thats gross and inconsiderate

spottie 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 19:47

That's really mean; and disgusting.

MrBigMeat_fml 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 6:57

you're scarred for life my friend

spicywatermelon 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 16:31

That's repulsive. Kick that nasty bitch off next time. Or dump her.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I handed a written complaint to a shop manager about an employee who had used foul language to my teenage daughter. I then watched as he took the complaint to the employee in question, they read it together, laughed, then the manager tore it in half and threw it in the bin. FML

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Today, my fiancé has one leg shorter than the other after it was half blown off in the army, and his specially made wedding suit was delivered. They got the leg lengths the wrong way round. The wedding is in two days and he may have to wear his pants backwards. FML

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Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML

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Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

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Today, I was flirting with a really cute girl and we ran out of things to say, I got so nervous with the silence that I asked her if she had hiccuped lately. FML

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Today, I spent hours carefully writing a super-polite email to an international law firm about an invoice mistake. I finally pressed send, only to realize I had addressed it to my gym trainer. FML

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