Accident

Notice me

By bb. - 29/12/2021 16:59

Today, I spent my entire shift fantasizing about being in a car wreck and getting hospitalized, just so my mother would show me any love whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 220

Heavy phone, dude

By Burton - 12/06/2021 20:00

Today, I'm in the E.R. because I broke one of my toes when my cellphone slipped from my hands after taking a shower. Needless to say, my cellphone broke too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 363

Adding insult to injury

By Shibs - 13/10/2015 16:55 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I was riding my bike along a road and a deer jumped out from the tree line, knocking me to the ground and breaking my arm. Someone pulled over to see if I was alright, running over my bike in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 432

You deserved it 1 792

I want to ride my bicycle

By Anonymous - 06/09/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the drugstore on my bike. The chain came off, the pedal punctured the top of my foot and I was bleeding a lot. To add insult to injury, the ATM inside was broken. I got gauze instead of the cash I came for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 98

Do not pass Go

By andjusticeforall - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I ran over a beer bottle which popped my car tire, which then caused me to swerve into a police cruiser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 316

You deserved it 4 566

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 00:01

Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 133

You can't explain that

By Anonymous - 06/10/2024 16:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

Today, I was explaining a complex work issue to my team. I moved my chair back so I could see them all. The leg of my chair went into a hole in the floor, causing it to fall over and me with it. I tried to finish explaining but everyone was laughing so hard they couldn't hear. Then they realized I couldn't get up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 104

Look out!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, on my way to work, I swerved to avoid hitting a dead animal. Too bad I ended up hitting a live one instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 570

You deserved it 9 174

Icona Pop, I assume

By ugh - 23/01/2016 20:48 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 785

You deserved it 5 867

Blind spot

By nicky - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to stab myself with a knife while trying to open something without a can opener. After getting stitches and returning back home, I went to make a cup of coffee. I found the can opener in the cutlery drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 349

You deserved it 30 031

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 284

You deserved it 6 097

Alexa, play "Cars" by Gary Numan

By Anonymous - 29/10/2019 16:00

Today, I ran a stop sign that was completely obscured by foliage, in a city I was unfamiliar with. A city bus then T-boned me. My car is now totalled, and I’m afraid this will now go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 423

Sorry

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 18:00

Today, I finally got my forklift license after training for a week. Almost eight hours later, I lost my license by not lowering my forks, crashing into and destroying four overhead light fixtures which cost more than $500 in damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 3 035

Hurting over here

By wo-ow - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bronx

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 745

You deserved it 4 392

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 141

SK8 OR DIE

By Anonymous - 15/03/2022 02:00

Today, while skating to school, I got hit by a car, In front of the school. I went flying and everyone saw. The girl who hit me only said, "Oops, didn't see you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 125

Whoops

By Anonymous - 31/01/2018 01:30

Today, while leaving a job site, I put a bundle of pipe on my boss's van, picked up a few tools, and left for the day. He called screaming 30 minutes later to inform me that I didn't strap the pipe to the rack. It slid off the van and hit the car in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 093

You deserved it 4 891

Close

By Anonymous - 10/12/2018 22:00

Today I had a narrow escape with a nailgun that nailed my workboot to the floor but luckily missed my foot. After I calmed down and changed boots I returned to the nailgun, started working again and barely 30 seconds later I managed to nail my thumb to a piece of wood. Man, I'm bad at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 461

You deserved it 1 290

Snark

By Anonymous - 28/02/2013 22:33 - United Kingdom - Newtownards

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 797

You deserved it 3 692

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 965

You deserved it 50 996

Sorry Danny de Vito…

By Anonymous - 28/05/2021 14:00

Today, I met my celebrity crush in an official capacity, I was completely tongue tied and when I stood to shake her hand, I tripped and fell with my face in her cleavage. She thought it was funny, but I was mortified and my boss suspended me until security footage proves I didn’t do it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 177

Sorry honey

By Anonymous - 30/11/2022 00:00

Today, my boyfriend and I get along very well, but I’m not used to being extremely close to somebody. Every time we are together, I always somehow manage to elbow him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 220

A tale as old as… well, 2007?

By Melody - 09/10/2024 07:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got my phone fixed after the screen had been shattered for four months straight. Then, the moment they handed it to me, it fell straight to the floor and shattered. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 260

By Kyle - 20/06/2019 20:06

Today, I celebrated my 30th birthday by accidentally knocking my fiancée’s tooth out with her glass as she tried to a sip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 260

Slippin' up

By Caroline - 14/02/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my office, rocking my new noise-canceling headphones. Turns out, they work so well that I didn’t hear my coworker trying to warn me about the wet floor. Now I’m the proud owner of a bruised hip and a security camera video making the rounds on our Slack channels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 442

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 910

You deserved it 630

Steady as she goes

By Slippin' - 17/11/2022 17:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 147

Fore!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2023 12:00 - United States - Cary

Today, while playing golf on a local course, my idiot of a friend decided to push his pushcart down a massive hill towards me. When he realized that I was going to be hit, he screamed for me to move, but it was too late. I collapsed to the ground in pain, all while he chuckled about the situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 123

Do not attempt this at home

By PetiteLover - 28/12/2022 21:00

Today, I’m dating a petite girl, and I've had fantasies of picking her up and fucking her in midair. I attempted to try this fantasy last night. I'm now in the hospital with broken and bruised ribs and tailbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 1 663

Nice catch

By inthesticks - 01/05/2022 05:09

Took, I took my son fishing. We ended the night at the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 57

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I've not had any contact with my mother for years, and when tornadoes came through our hometown and wiped out most of our downtown area, she didn't contact me at all. I finally contacted her myself. Her reason for not contacting me? She had "watched the news" and "knew I was OK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 620

You deserved it 222

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after two years of dating. So far this year, I sprained my wrist, my dog died, my best friend of 6 years ended our friendship, I was diagnosed with PMDD, my cat died, I had an ovarian cyst rupture, and I got turned down for every job I applied for. Only 7 more months to go… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 136

Today, my husband is leading us into financial ruin by insisting on paying for his senior dog’s cancer treatment, but the poor thing is so old and miserable, I’m pretty sure it’s animal abuse at this point. He won’t listen to reason, our bills are all past due, and my car is about to get repossessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 89

Today, I was fired from my job over a coupon a coworker offered me for bonus reward points. Apparently, it wasn't one I was entitled to. I never even looked at the coupon and assumed it was fine since they offered it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 197

You deserved it 510

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 335

You deserved it 6 073

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that many years before we met, I once slept with a guy in my college for $500 just so I could avoid becoming homeless before my next student loan kicked in. He dumped me because he “doesn’t date whores”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 373