The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Gun control

By grant b - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 730

You deserved it 6 165

I like what I like

By Aled - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 136

You deserved it 3 381

Best clapback

By wetbutt - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 126

You deserved it 69 030

Tricked

By drug testing - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Little Chute

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 416

You deserved it 15 551

No one's favorite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 882

You deserved it 3 814

Morris was here

By ceetee - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 041

You deserved it 3 508

Gross

By hushnow - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer who, just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 218

You deserved it 3 813

You never know

By lolwut - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Albany

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be OK if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 996

You deserved it 18 748

Panic!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 803

You deserved it 12 447

Asshats

By anon - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And I was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 614

You deserved it 4 987

Yikes

By nycgirl424 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years sent me a text message saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 123

You deserved it 3 266

Nice try

By clumsy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 972

You deserved it 54 646

Boozehound

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 584

You deserved it 21 763

The other shoe drops

By ConstantChoas - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out the procedure manual I've been creating for months and finally finished is going to be used to train the person replacing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 631

You deserved it 229

Broke

By candidcripple - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 040

You deserved it 4 561

Not going out

By not drunk - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Brazil - Santa Maria

Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 951

You deserved it 4 788

Support system error

By PissedAtLife - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was invited to a counseling group for people with emotional problems. I brought the permission slip home for my mom to sign, only for her to accuse me of being a hypochondriacal, lazy, selfish bitch. And my friends wonder why I have problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 790

You deserved it 3 329

Ewww, gross

By spekledworf - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Wrentham

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 913

You deserved it 2 089

It's not what you think

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Smyrna

Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 891

You deserved it 4 648

Long road ahead

By Catcrap! - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Rialto

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 641

You deserved it 6 518

By the book

By boohoo - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, I was fired from my catering job for pointing out the unsafe food conditions. I'm studying food safety in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 171

You deserved it 6 205

Stalker vibes

By nerdychick - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 370

You deserved it 22 485

I hate people

By lpspann87 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 517

You deserved it 2 640

At the car wash

By hold your horses pony boy - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 449

You deserved it 14 015

Junk in the trunk

By NotSoClean - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 145

You deserved it 8 751

Spray it

By catwoman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 442

You deserved it 5 591

Bedlam

By Snow-White - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Wilmslow

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat, and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 999

You deserved it 19 391

Plastered

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Alfreton

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 402

You deserved it 3 969

I bet you're wondering how I ended up here

By Nekro_Kat - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 124

You deserved it 3 961

Keep the change

By hatemylife - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a group of Girl Scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought two bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 438

You deserved it 7 076

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The Top

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 223

You deserved it 8 846

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 472

You deserved it 3 889

Today, I decided to get some exercise for the first time in months. I went to the store and bought a brand new bicycle and all the necessary paraphernalia. I drove a half hour to a bike trail, unloaded the bike, and started riding. 10 feet later, the chain snapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 184

You deserved it 4 267

Today, I found my concert tickets that I've been trying to find for the last 2 weeks in my mom's closet. When I asked why she had them, she said she felt the concert was inappropriate for me so she hid them. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 337

You deserved it 6 647

Today, I was cooking in my Airbnb and grabbed a pan, only to find it had some kind of beetle and droppings all over it. I realized soon after that the whole place was infested, but the person in charge of maintenance won’t answer my messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 108

Today, I had to pick up my son from school because he was constantly talking about his "Giant pen." In mid-July, I got him a giant-sized pen (writing utensil) and he liked it very much. Apparently, one of the teachers had their mind in the gutter and thought he was talking about… you know what. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 151