The Top

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Best seat in the house

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Norway

Today, a truck rear-ended my car and drove off. I could see everything from my office, everything except his license plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 697

You deserved it 1 948

Freaky family

By tkoester - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Fairfield

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 394

You deserved it 1 636

Smells like… victory

By sickofthesmelltoo - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 073

You deserved it 3 170

Wrongful

By beat10 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 046

You deserved it 4 237

Yeetus

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 854

You deserved it 15 621

Silver linings, eh?

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next four hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 261

You deserved it 3 520

Big wuss

By tessisue - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Germany

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 208

You deserved it 2 289

Whoops

By mmv - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my car into the shop to get a minor problem fixed. I left several hours later, without my car. Why? The mechanic crashed it while out on a test drive to make sure he'd fixed the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 544

You deserved it 2 209

Naughty boy

By Stoopiddogbot - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 100

You deserved it 4 509

Way to beat the "weird dad" allegations

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 296

You deserved it 3 301

It's coming!

By badmom - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I did such a bad job explaining the recent change from daylight savings time, that my 5-year-old son is now convinced that we're time travellers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 479

You deserved it 4 914

Karma

By fullmoonfml - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 214

You deserved it 58 470

Rammed

By StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Radcliff

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 497

You deserved it 2 371

Redecorating

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Amersham

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved into my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 503

You deserved it 12 663

My little friends

By Annonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 805

You deserved it 2 026

Let's go girls

By skid - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Champaign

Today, I took part in a bouquet toss. The "single ladies" consisted of myself and several girls under the age of ten. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 354

You deserved it 3 201

Brother in law enforcement

By Sunshinenwhiskey - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out why my sister hasn't been answering my texts or phone calls. Her husband blocked my number on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 193

You deserved it 1 055

Lawyer up

By gnofin - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 942

You deserved it 3 180

He bangs the drums

By PhilDavisDied? - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 268

You deserved it 35 480

What are you doing?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 636

You deserved it 12 965

Bye!

By loverpants - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 172

You deserved it 5 627

Not joking

By sharibaby - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 244

You deserved it 4 174

Transactional

By Firewielder - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Midland

Today, I found out the only reason my parents want me to live with them is because of the tax refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 335

You deserved it 3 115

Backhanded matchmaker

By Highroller_17 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a customer came in to the Walmart I cashier at, trying to set me up with her daughter. This isn't the first time she's tried. As she so graciously put it, her daughter "has a thing for the wimpy nerdy types". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 171

You deserved it 2 456

Bad time for a joke

By Demotivation - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 295

You deserved it 12 851

Bad influence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 003

You deserved it 6 048

Dad joke

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 866

You deserved it 4 630

Steve? Pete?

By somefamily - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Wayne

Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 442

You deserved it 4 509

Nice try

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 341

You deserved it 9 381

Creep from the past

By annoyed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a phone call from a good guy friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for years. He tells me he has "deep" feelings for me, and wants to know since my husband is deployed, if it would be okay if we "dated" because he told his parents I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 597

You deserved it 2 956

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my girlfriend’s mom just got engaged to her boyfriend and he claimed it was me that inspired him to ask her. My girlfriend hates him, so to say I’m in the doghouse is an understatement, I’m lucky to still be in the garden, never mind the doghouse, and I have no idea what I did to inspire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 77

Today, my husband came home and sat in his car out front for fifteen minutes. I went and knocked on the door, asking what he was doing. Apparently, I always dump so much shit on him the second he walks in the door that he needs a little peace between work and coming home to me. Ungrateful ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 1 788

Today, my best friend confessed his love to me, and I confessed the same back. However, I have a boyfriend who gives me mixed signals and is rude but sometimes not, and my best friend isn't ready to date so for now it’s FWB, and he's also is starting to give a little bit of mixed signals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 860

Today, it was my birthday. Nobody said anything, not even my Facebook friends, who probably got a notification about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 181

Today, to avoid walking on a thumbtack that had fallen on the floor, my little sister took a red sharpie to the carpet and drew a circle around it, "so that way, everyone will see it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 42

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 770

You deserved it 40 935