When you brag a bit too much By Lewis - 11/12/2018 00:30 do not count your chickens before they hatch I agree, your life sucks 231 You deserved it 153 Share Tweet Share
Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML I agree, your life sucks 51 737 You deserved it 4 158
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 55 501 You deserved it 4 683
Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 510 You deserved it 316
Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 410 You deserved it 861
Today, I found out that my booty call only likes to have sex with me so afterwards he can watch ESPN on my plasma screen TV, because he has neither. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 635 You deserved it 17 120
Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 237 You deserved it 49 659
Run Forest...Run!