Wake Up Call By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00 The most frustrating sound ever. I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 89 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 579 You deserved it 9 810
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 246 You deserved it 7 670
Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 834 You deserved it 19 238
Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML I agree, your life sucks 20 678 You deserved it 64 724
Today, I told my roommate she had to pay $55 to replace a piece of the oven she broke. She told me I was being selfish and decided to illegally break our lease because I was, "making her feel unsafe." Now I not only have to pay for the oven repair, I also have to pay her next two month's rent. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 298 You deserved it 204
This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.