Too Much Sugar By FML Approved - 20/10/2017 22:00 - United States - New York Sometimes all you can do is sit back and let them get it out of their systems. I agree, your life sucks 473 You deserved it 111 Share Tweet Share
Today, after climbing 5 flights of stairs I walked into the restroom to take a piss. I was winded but trying to keep my heavy breathing to a minimum. My plan failed when I almost fainted inbetween two guys at the urinal and started gasping for air. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 883 You deserved it 1 138
Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 363 You deserved it 2 733
Today, I've got a bad stomach ache, so my mother asked me ifI was on my period. I told her that no, in fact I haven't had it in three months. Now she won't speak to me because she's convinced that I have a secret boyfriend and am pregnant. I'm a lesbian. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 028 You deserved it 567
Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 935 You deserved it 386
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML I agree, your life sucks 33 824 You deserved it 121 918
Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 471 You deserved it 5 158
when she/he stopped at the top of the stairs, she/he could have stuck a paw out and tripped his ass for running in the house.