Intimacy Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he...

James - 12/08/2011 07:54 - United States

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

Anonymousse - 13/11/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

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Twisted

sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

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Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

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Forgiveness

notacaveman - 16/04/2013 13:27 - Netherlands

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

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It's not the size that counts

Leo Scofield - 29/08/2020 02:00

Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML

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itsemilyc - 02/02/2015 19:34 - United States - Byron Center

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

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leftwardfoil - 19/08/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

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Back and forth and back again

Anonymous - 07/01/2015 19:37 - Guam - Barrigada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

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janie - 30/01/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, I was sexiled so that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML

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keimA - 23/06/2019 12:30

Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML

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spd2fst4u 5

Friday 12 August 2011 18:52

I think I'd have him arrested.

Zero22120 12

Friday 12 August 2011 18:52

How do you not wake up to that?

Belthazor_fml 5

Friday 12 August 2011 20:39

If I were you, I would beat the SHIT out of him!!!!___

nubx 0

Friday 12 August 2011 20:41

Beat the **** out of him

nubx 0

Friday 12 August 2011 20:41

Beat the **** out of him

nubx 0

Friday 12 August 2011 20:41

Beat the **** out of him

nubx 0

Friday 12 August 2011 20:41

Beat the **** out of him

redmnky21 8

Friday 12 August 2011 20:55

and u havent called the cops why?

blaqgod 0

Friday 12 August 2011 21:08

that is a considerate roommate. he must hv figured your gf was hot and decided to help her out

BighornB 0

Friday 12 August 2011 21:11

Too bad your roommate didn't tell you he wacked off afterwards and left baby goo all over belly.

falce1189 0

Friday 12 August 2011 21:16

What. The. ****. Kinda ****** are you? U should b in jail right now for assault at the very least..should b murder 1 or manslaughter if u didn't obsess over ****..