Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time....

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 05:14 - Canada - Clairmont

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 927

You deserved it 10 280

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The Force

By RobinBunny713 - 19/07/2011 03:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 812

You deserved it 34 396

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 415

You deserved it 17 929

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 408

You deserved it 359

Beam me up!

By saynotochrispine - 28/07/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 337

You deserved it 7 966

War drums

By Taylor - 30/07/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 263

You deserved it 10 691

By ChubbyTubby - 17/01/2010 18:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 688

You deserved it 6 727

Bragging

By lastalittlelonger - 05/12/2009 09:07 - United States

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 752

You deserved it 3 183

In the mood

By wickedbeauty333 - 26/09/2012 22:54 - United States - Katy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except that when he did, he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 627

You deserved it 4 210

By May - 04/09/2011 04:08 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 829

You deserved it 6 267

By Jamie - 10/03/2010 20:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 924

You deserved it 4 001

Palirose 22

Friday 19 April 2013 12:02

Your boyfriend sounds awesome. :) he's definitely a keeper!

Talooka 10

Friday 19 April 2013 12:11

R2 want the D2?

Comments

akimes94 5

Friday 19 April 2013 14:59

The force was not strong with you two.

NameInvalid 9

Friday 19 April 2013 15:04

Were they good references?

pedinhuh 23

Friday 19 April 2013 15:44

I just hope he didn't make any reference to Chewie while he was down there...

Ibeatmyself 3

Friday 19 April 2013 16:48

The force is weak in this one

kunlunkid 3

Friday 19 April 2013 17:02

I guess he won't be "feeding Boba to the Sarlaac" again anytime soon...

DMara 2

Friday 19 April 2013 17:38

He is a keeper

amifaiyaz 12

Friday 19 April 2013 18:05

Did he tell you how much your ****** resembles Chewbacca?

amifaiyaz 12

Friday 19 April 2013 18:06

Did he tell you how much your ****** resembles Chewbacca?

Brock_Dudeson 11

Friday 19 April 2013 18:26

Eric forman much?

onorexveritas 23

Friday 19 April 2013 18:30

strong with this one, the force was not

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 762

You deserved it 23 102

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 801

You deserved it 4 995

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 785

You deserved it 10 926

Today, I'm on a certain diet. I had to have a green protein banana smoothie for breakfast. I shook it up, took a mouthful, and immediately started gagging. Apparently, the seal for the bottle had fallen in, and it got stuck in my throat. Luckily it was slimy and came out relatively easily. I paid $12 for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 264

Today, my wife demanded that I cut all ties with my best friend, just because she doesn't like the jokes he tells. Now she's bitching that she's upset because his wife, who she works with, is talking about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 540

You deserved it 349

Today, I was sitting at home when the police knocked on my door. They came inside, sat me down and told me that both my parents died in a car crash tonight. I started to cry, but about 10 minutes later, I find out they had the wrong person. I feel bad for the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 824

You deserved it 128