Animals: Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having...

By birthdayfun - 23/03/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 39

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

0___0 9

Tuesday 24 March 2009 9:07

Was it your 16th birthday at least? D:

uhnonnuhmus 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 10:26

To get revenge, just throw the stray cat into the shower with your mom someday. Then run like hell.

Comments

yaknowiverse 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 20:42

that stinks. I'm sorry about your face getting scratched

Scarlettx7 0

Friday 9 December 2011 4:31

She's slow

Dianaax33 9

Sunday 11 December 2011 13:52

Your mother is a bitch. Happy Birthday!

eatsleepjb 8

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:44

Your mom needs help

xxDefiantxx 0

Sunday 5 February 2012 15:53

Make up some bullshit story of how a man attacked you thoth a knie ;)

katiedoll6 7

Saturday 31 March 2012 1:22

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday Happy birthday to you ???????????????

ChrisHex 6

Sunday 20 May 2012 5:09

seems like your mom isn't the smartest knife in the crayon box...

kayrachelle17 3

Wednesday 19 September 2012 7:18

I love dogs!

paprika_pilipili_fml 14

Friday 15 February 2013 23:28

I hate cats. They leave hairs and puke all over the place.

Kenton1008 21

Monday 25 March 2013 1:59

So do dogs, genius.

happyfingers 15

Thursday 3 October 2013 21:03

Who throws a cat at people?! The nails.... Owww, the nails.....

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Anxiety Miscellaneous Vacation Mental health Embarrassing Family Relatable Transportation Airport Dentist Kids Parents My ex AITA Money Break-ups Love Weird Jealousy Restaurants Alcohol Health Awkward Social Media Drunk Neighbours Mysterious Work Dogs Animals

The Top

Today, after being unemployed for almost two years, I was turned down for yet another job. The reason this time? I live too far from the job. I can see the building from my bedroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 535

You deserved it 4 612

Today, my friends and I got front stage tickets to our favorite band. Being my first concert, we planned to start a small mosh pit in the back. I got knocked out by my best friend's elbow and was rushed to the hospital, during the first song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 788

You deserved it 30 364

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 848

You deserved it 3 340

Today, I was driving on the freeway in the back seat of my friends car. I looked over to the left and was greeted by a van full of adolescent boys waving and making the "call me" hand gesture. I then happened to looked down and realized that my right boob was completely out of my top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 204

You deserved it 54 249

Today, I texted a friend saying I urgently needed his help. He gushed back along the lines of, "Glad you reached out, everyone has noticed your terrible frame of mind, you’re a suicide risk." I meant help with a tricky Excel spreadsheet, but thanks for the support I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 139

Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 410