Kids: Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration,...

By baddad - 23/09/2013 04:44 - United States

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 545

You deserved it 7 794

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/07/2013 16:16 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 229

You deserved it 3 637

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 27/02/2025 03:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a store trying to buy a birthday gift for my niece when I knocked over a stack of porcelain dolls. As they crashed to the floor, a security guard rushed over, but before I could apologize, I heard a tiny voice behind me: “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!” It was just another prank by my mortified son, but it was too late to stop people glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 118

By NotABeatenWoman - 09/11/2015 00:36 - United States - Charleston

Today, I found out everyone in my neighborhood thinks that I'm a beaten woman due to the reoccurring ambulances in front of my house at night. My kid just chokes on everything, and they don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 227

You deserved it 2 381

By orcatheseapanda - 09/01/2016 05:14 - Thailand

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 203

You deserved it 1 428

By pianoplayer - 22/05/2013 01:57 - Canada - Mackenzie

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 594

You deserved it 2 850

Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 166

Suspicious minds

By Hugh - 03/04/2021 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to a hospital social worker that my young son is not abused, he is just rowdy and that he knocked himself unconscious and shattered 4 teeth in a bizarre stunt involving a tree, my ironing board, a mop bucket and lots of duct tape. I'm not sure the hospital believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 166

Demon child

By never again! - 22/06/2021 02:01

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 129

By loueb17 - 15/02/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 204

You deserved it 9 744

By jessi - 02/12/2011 13:22 - United States

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 170

You deserved it 6 677

Americanus 7

Monday 23 September 2013 12:03

Time to invest in some curtains maybe?

BillMurray_fml 12

Monday 23 September 2013 12:07

Are you ok? You seem a little shaken up about the whole thing.

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Monday 23 September 2013 19:39

Well I think the cops saw what happened...and it should blow over soon...

ksks1234 33

Monday 23 September 2013 20:58

I cannot understand how the neighbor could confuse a little bill doll with a real kid. The doll is oddly proportioned with its oversized head and feet.

Omniprism 14

Monday 23 September 2013 21:29

Neighbor payback. It's nice he was concerned but still. Maybe write the whole neighborhood a letter with a pic of the doll and how it works and explain what happened.

sleepingangel 10

Monday 23 September 2013 21:29

The question is, why does your son have a doll?

QueenSaru 28

Monday 23 September 2013 22:56

The answer is: Why shouldn't he?

aliciajuice 13

Tuesday 24 September 2013 1:30

Why not? That's a bit ignorant of you, don't ya think? Sorry.

LilFidget 4

Tuesday 24 September 2013 2:53

Who the hell cares? He can dance if he wants to. He can leave his friends behind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

splitintwo 6

Monday 23 September 2013 21:53

In some places it's considered peeping. I say wait to catch em looking again get naked and call the cops saying your neighbors peeping through the windows

Elfkid21 19

Monday 23 September 2013 22:51

That's ******* bull shit!! people need to mind their own goddamm business!! This is the same reason people are afraid to spank their kids when the massively misbehave because someone will stick their nose where it doesn't belong and cause more trouble than what they're worth!!