Miscellaneous: Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality...

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 146

You deserved it 52 451

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Same thing different taste

By hello - 11/07/2010 00:57 - Jordan

Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don't know what's worse, that I'm not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 348

You deserved it 8 825

By slondons - 18/01/2011 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, my friends were acting strange around me. This afternoon, I got a text asking me to meet them out for a couple of drinks. Because of all the strange acting, I decided to tell them I'd go and then not go. I just found out they had been planning me a surprise party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 635

You deserved it 52 375

Self report

By banana12321 - 02/04/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 208

You deserved it 30 506

By nolife - 30/08/2012 01:33 - United States - Richmond

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 213

You deserved it 30 081

By marmarr - 15/05/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 506

You deserved it 70 859

Classic

By Diane - 12/09/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 472

Who'll tell him?

By Anonymous - 03/03/2023 12:00 - Japan

Today, the girl I like said she was out drinking with a friend. I'm pretty sure she has been lying about all the times she has "fallen asleep" and could not talk, and is actually seeing other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 833

I hate small talk

By billie - 13/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I pretended to be texting to avoid talking to an old classmate I saw at the grocery store. Unfortunately, my phone rang while I was “texting.” It was the classmate. I had no choice but to answer, while we were both standing 10 feet apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 434

By SDCore - 12/02/2015 00:40 - United States - Glenview

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 836

You deserved it 39 923

By julie24 - 30/05/2014 02:30 - France

Today, I was partying with friends. At around midnight, I sent a text message to my friend to reassure her, saying that of course I could handle my drink. That's the last thing I can remember about the evening. It's a total blank from that point onwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 194

You deserved it 46 131

Runninvegan 8

Saturday 10 September 2011 12:18

Time to hit up the Chloroform....

Bunnehs 0

Saturday 10 September 2011 12:32

YDI for thinking that being drunk makes you cool.

Comments

Kntrymama 8

Saturday 10 September 2011 23:59

Sounds almost as pathetic as my life..

Mokiikom_fml 8

Sunday 11 September 2011 1:29

...rule number one of lying: don't lie in a way that's so stupid that you'll be caught right away. If you were truly drunk you could do it, but being sober, have the decency to come up with a lie that can't be easily debunked. ;)

MeasaV123 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 4:06

There's a cat for that.

hondawonderboy 4

Sunday 11 September 2011 4:38

Lol lame dude

clementine00 1

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:04

Why would you pretend to be with someone that they know. You totally deserved it for not being smarter. And if you have friends to text, why didn't you just ask them to hang out instead?