Gross and Kids: Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops...

By Pimpleeater - 20/12/2011 07:45 - New Zealand

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 481

You deserved it 5 686

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Same thing different taste

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By imblue42 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 601

You deserved it 3 796

By beya - 31/08/2009 22:05 - Canada

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 000

You deserved it 5 898

Proof

By George Saunders - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 154

You deserved it 54 235

Hair-raising

By what the fuck????? - 17/02/2022 16:01 - United States - Denver

Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 272

By Sadmom - 14/09/2016 02:15 - United States - Cherry Hill

Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 962

You deserved it 1 435

The trail

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 10:45 - Canada

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 881

You deserved it 3 900

By eenkoekje - 13/05/2011 07:20

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 344

You deserved it 15 926

Never again

By Lex - 21/05/2025 21:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I gave my kid some Pop Rocks. He shoveled a handful in his mouth, then screamed when they started popping and spat them all over the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 450

Dirty rice

By Dirtyrice - 24/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my 8-year-old son decided to make some rice for lunch. When we had it, I noticed a horrid gritty taste. It turns out, he puts dirt in the rice to make "Dirty Rice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 416

By lalanon - 03/04/2009 05:16 - Australia

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187 009

You deserved it 33 468

MorningGranite 3

Tuesday 20 December 2011 11:56

Thats.....gross

ajmacrae 5

Tuesday 20 December 2011 11:58

EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!! I just threw up in my lecture when I read that

Comments

pinkWabbits 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:00

That's ******* gross... Yet, so brilliant!

intimate_pretzel 6

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:02

Teenagers...

KileyBoynton 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:02

Does he realize what you can do to him?

R4P7OR 2

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:08

Congratulations it's a douchebag

bekaashley 17

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:19

Hahahahahahaha

cetlawizard 15

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:34

Time to send his disgusting ass to boot camp & anger management class, so he can learn to curb his anger & learn some respect!

cooljcool 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 0:08

Yummy no joke

Jirekianu2 19

Wednesday 21 December 2011 0:08

Slap. His. Shit.

sherryl_fml 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 0:36

That's ****** feral!!!

jose1760 1

Wednesday 21 December 2011 0:37

You should beat the shit out of him...

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I've been single for so long, I very nearly had a wet dream about an anthropomorphic frog. A FROG. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 205

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 706

You deserved it 51 500

Today, at my job at a pet store, my boss told me to go outside and hand out flyers. I saw a man sitting on a bench and walked up, saying, "Hi! Do you have a pet?" He teared up and said, "I just put her down this morning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 256

You deserved it 183

It's hard to turn things around sometimes.

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 113

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 373

You deserved it 21 352

Today, I had the brilliant idea of jumping off a swing at its highest point. I can now add two things to my list of accomplishments: making out with a tree and breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 1 453