Health: Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person...

By thatonesilentkidinclass - 04/05/2013 08:11 - Philippines - San Juan

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 735

You deserved it 12 140

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Work out

By anon - 20/03/2015 21:43 - United States - Arlington

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 557

You deserved it 4 403

Like a dog

By Anonymous - 12/05/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I started a new workout routine to get fit. After watching a bunch of online videos, I thought I could jump right in. I overdid it on squats and now can’t sit down without grunting like a wounded animal. I’m now having to climb stairs on all fours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 488

First impressions

By Anonymous - 01/12/2024 15:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I joined a gym. I’m overweight and not very athletic, so I was nervous. I looked around and tried a treadmill. I start walking at a chill pace, then got ambitious and cranked it to a "light jog." Within seconds, I tripped, fell, and sent the emergency stop button flying across the room. The gym staff ran over and I swear someone said, “Well, at least he’s trying.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 132

By JenniWearsPrada - 20/04/2011 08:27

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 972

You deserved it 26 291

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 256

Knackered and shattered

By Out of Shape - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Egypt

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 134

You deserved it 35 900

Having fun over there?

By Anonymous - 07/09/2024 00:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 341

Baby steps

By Anonymous - 16/11/2024 21:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I started doing cardio at my local gym with a basic exercise bike because doing weightlifting by itself wasn't having an effect on my weight. Since I'm out of shape, I did 15 minutes instead of the standard 30. I had to stop at 10 minutes because my legs were so sore they nearly gave out on me when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 153

Weight is just a number

By Anonymous - 23/02/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I was proud of going to the gym 3 times a week (instead of once a week) to get in relative shape. I even started doing light cardio and (I thought) started to eat better. I've gained six pounds, despite watching what I eat and even increasing the resistance on the exercise bike that I use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 113

New day, same shit

By PickYourselfUp - 06/10/2014 03:17 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 914

You deserved it 8 667

DocBastard 38

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

You're going to be a huge hit at the gym. I can see it now...The Gasmaster.

dr_snow_bear 29

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

A small start is better than no start. Good luck!

Comments

ex_stripper_jk 20

Sunday 5 May 2013 11:20

If it makes you feel better... I tend to queef when I practice yoga. Which is why I can only practice at home.

The_F3rris 11

Sunday 5 May 2013 14:30

Don't get discouraged! You can do it!

danidino96 8

Sunday 5 May 2013 21:08

Good for you! Keep it up. :) it's gonna be a long slow journey, but it will be worth it!

thehowiie 6

Sunday 5 May 2013 21:31

better out than in!

karen1991 15

Sunday 5 May 2013 22:24

You just made my day thank you!!

roflstomp716 19

Monday 6 May 2013 22:58

once you start getting results, nobody will be laughing!

amisenho 11

Tuesday 7 May 2013 18:39

As a fellow proactive fat person, I'm rooting for you!

5auo 4

Wednesday 8 May 2013 3:45

Maybe you're not really obese. Maybe you're just full of air?

glamery 3

Wednesday 8 May 2013 18:58

if youre that obese, jumping jacks are probably going to be really hard on your joints in the long run. id suggest walking and lots of it. swimming is also great. keep it up!