Intimacy: Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried... - FML

By Heather - 26/06/2012 17:13 - United States - Newport News

Spicy

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 528

You deserved it 12 754

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Same thing different taste

What was I thinking?

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 10:00 - United States - Okemos

Spicy

Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 798

By crazygirl - 29/10/2009 06:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 554

You deserved it 5 190

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Spicy

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 912

You deserved it 249

Oh no.

By Anonymous - 07/01/2018 01:30

Spicy

Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 418

You deserved it 1 672

By go fuck myself - 07/02/2015 00:57 - United States - Tampa

Spicy

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 284

You deserved it 5 012

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 203

You deserved it 2 081

May be

By Anonymous - 29/02/2020 20:00

Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668

You deserved it 144

By Anonymous - 28/04/2015 16:58 - United Kingdom - Exminster

Spicy

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 832

You deserved it 4 445

Us neither, dude

By Buzzing Confusion - 17/09/2021 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I found out that the mother of my children named her vibrator after me. We are together and have not had sex in over 18 months. I have no idea what to do with this information. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 224

By VCR - 20/12/2009 07:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 519

You deserved it 3 741

Next

Top comments

strawberrywine22 30

Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:14

Trust me, it could be wore. My son took the "rocket ship" he found to school for show and tell. My daughter used it to massage her grandmother's feet.

gonad_gobbler 1

Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:16

You have smart kids! They knew vibrators and ******* go together!

Comments

karlies 2

Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:08

Or maybe your kitty found it.

neurodoc 1

Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:24

They found the manual which said "for better results bury it under the pussy close to where the shit comes out and wait for the magic to happen" ... Well they were just following instructions.. Can't blame them :P The glossary was missing.

jackeechan 10

Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:40

Nothing a little lube wont fix

zandalee 19

Wednesday 27 June 2012 7:11

Every pussy has her day.

hatemylife45 9

Wednesday 27 June 2012 8:08

At least another pussy will be happy

annasartasylum_fml_fml 4

Wednesday 27 June 2012 11:23

Kids tend to take almost all joy out off your life lol

afuckedlife 4

Wednesday 27 June 2012 12:09

Congratulations! you've just invented the clitterbox

drcynic 4

Wednesday 27 June 2012 15:42

Maybe you should hide it better

boyscout3 2

Wednesday 27 June 2012 18:49

can i see the rocket

starlight124 6

Wednesday 27 June 2012 19:40

lol, they gave it to the pussy cat

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Adulting is hard... Some of us need a push!

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 72

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 244

You deserved it 2 478

Today, I found out that my husband is cheating on me with my ex-boyfriend, who came out about six months ago. We were still friends, and after they met, my husband admitted that he'd always wanted to "experiment." When I confronted them, he shook hands with my ex and said, "Now I get why you choose guys after her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 238

Today, I had my window open while playing my Xbox when my angry neighbour came over and kicked my ass for spying on his wife in the shower. Apparently, my room is opposite their bathroom, but my TV faces the opposite way, so I wasn’t even facing the right direction to be spying. Plus, his wife is ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 136

Today, my wife, the budding environmentalist, who is also 6 months pregnant, threatened to leave me because according to her I'm responsible for the world's deforestation. I'd only drawn her a picture of her with our baby-to-be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 60

Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 371

You deserved it 13 155