Kids: Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider...

By ihatespiders - 05/08/2014 12:31 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 832

You deserved it 18 867

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Same thing different taste

Wuss

By kenneth - 31/08/2018 01:30

Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 765

You deserved it 1 675

You big fanny

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 17:57 - Germany - Hagen

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 437

You deserved it 31 303

A job well done.

By belly the jelly - 30/10/2017 21:00

Today, I asked my husband to deal with the very large spider in our kitchen. Rather than a newspaper or a slipper, he went after it with an aerosol can and a lighter. The spider is now dead, but so are the wall and cupboards in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 591

You deserved it 701

Irrational fears

By emelie000 - 29/07/2022 14:00

Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 210

Disproportionate responses are the new black

By Anonymous - 24/10/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 95

Wonky fear

By mala_19 - 27/08/2023 08:00 - Sweden - Burea

Today, I saw a spider. My two year-old knows that I'm afraid of them, but in an attempt to not pass my phobia onto him, I said it was a piece of dirt. Now he thinks that I'm afraid of dirt. I did not think this through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 636

By SpiderFather - 02/07/2013 08:01 - France

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 082

You deserved it 5 878

Freaked out

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 019

You deserved it 543

By JustLeaveThem - 25/01/2017 18:00

Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 752

You deserved it 300

She's right, you know

By Anonymous - 27/07/2009 16:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 933

You deserved it 56 011

Lavelle1313 11

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:21

No shame necessary. Sacrifice the children.

brettrb 18

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:21

Spiders are terrifying. I see nothing wrong with this.

Comments

taybear0 14

Tuesday 5 August 2014 19:43

young kids are pretty fearless. as long as it wasnt a deadly spider, there is no shame in this

Abdelhady 6

Tuesday 5 August 2014 19:48

arachnophobia ?

slyde32 12

Wednesday 6 August 2014 6:43

no, he loves spiders

airportlad 4

Tuesday 5 August 2014 20:00

You bitch

CrysisKing 5

Tuesday 5 August 2014 20:07

The real MVP!

xIlluminated 6

Tuesday 5 August 2014 20:08

You handled the situation better. I would've burned the house down

Macherni 5

Tuesday 5 August 2014 20:08

42 years old...yes. A man....don't think so, pussy.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 5 August 2014 20:14

Better than burning the house down...but I think that will be the option when your daughter is having a sleepover with a friend or something

ethan_unoxx 29

Tuesday 5 August 2014 20:40

Don't worry bro. I feel you.

alex_622 22

Tuesday 5 August 2014 20:59

Your daughter killing the Devil's spawn for you is a problem because...?

ZorroRooster 19

Tuesday 5 August 2014 21:27

Sack up, dude. Its just a spider. Unless it was a black widow or funnel-web, I see no reason to freak.

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I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 95

Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 878

You deserved it 2 156

Today, I noticed I have more alcohol in my fridge than I do actual food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 1 662

Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 132

You deserved it 2 425

Today, I woke up to a repairman at my door who was simply supposed to turn my water back on in my apartment. Two hours and 5 repairmen later, all I have now is a large hole in my ceiling. Still no water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 825

You deserved it 2 370

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 251

You deserved it 18 917

Same thing different taste

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