Health Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

CaoiiBieber - 17/07/2011 19:15 - Ireland

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Hangry dude

Anonymous - 07/08/2021 20:01

Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML

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Nick - 11/02/2010 18:35 - United States

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

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8sq - 11/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

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Anonymous - 04/03/2016 16:47 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML

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Crunchy

Anonymous - 26/04/2025 22:00 - United States - Benson

Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML

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Introvert struggles

knife knife - - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML

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M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

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Anonymous - 22/05/2019 00:01

Today, a fork hit me in the eye. I was holding it. I didn't even get to eat my chicken. FML

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lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

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Anonymous - 11/07/2013 17:08 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

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JayBear14 11

Monday 18 July 2011 0:25

how does that work?

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

Monday 18 July 2011 0:58

i had trouble clicking this...

12dcevin 5

Monday 18 July 2011 5:35

ya you deepthroat a lot of things don't you... awwww yaaaa

Patty22 0

Monday 18 July 2011 5:45

Kinky

tylenol123 0

Monday 18 July 2011 5:47

that makes 2 of us ;)

lauderdale80_fml 0

Monday 18 July 2011 6:03

Damn ... what are you doing next Saturday !!!

Invierno 10

Monday 18 July 2011 6:16

...at least you didn't swallow it?

chevyrocks69_69 0

Monday 18 July 2011 6:18

u must suck **** alot if ur going towards a fork now u must be desperite

skullman870 1

Monday 18 July 2011 6:19

hahhaha

aknight14 0

Monday 18 July 2011 6:24

cucumbers tend to work better.....

itaimumwiro 8

Monday 18 July 2011 6:38

how bout we change the fork for my penis

caffeinated4 11

Monday 18 July 2011 6:51

Did you swallow?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I confirmed just how excluded I am by my very few friends. My messages in the group chat were completely ignored, yet another person was answered by multiple people within minutes. At least solitude can't let me down. FML

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Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

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Today, my ex showed up to pick up our kids in her brand new car. Last month child support doubled my amount because of a paperwork error. FML

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Today, I used a fire extinguisher for the first time. Too bad it was on my car. FML

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Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

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Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

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