Work: Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered,...

By wtffireworks! - 26/05/2011 02:10 - United States

Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 241

You deserved it 18 531

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Same thing different taste

By HumanNature - 01/02/2009 00:01 - Canada

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 065

You deserved it 3 238

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 14:09

Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 112

Don't dick around with those guys

By Cuntface McGee - 21/02/2014 21:37 - Romania - Dej

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 940

You deserved it 18 649

Summer's here and the time is right…

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 18:30

Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 183

By goodgrief - 05/03/2013 05:08 - United States - Rio Rancho

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 544

You deserved it 4 952

Nice neighborhood

By dinkley7 - 25/04/2021 02:00

Today, the cops showed up at my work because people were fighting in the parking lot. This is a nightly occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 108

What did you expect?

By Overzealous cop of the day - 10/04/2025 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 1 445

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 05:07 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 708

You deserved it 4 017

Busted

By DuckMan - 07/10/2017 23:15

Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 2 699

By yodada - 10/03/2009 23:03 - United States

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 539

You deserved it 4 863

marinus_fml 19

Thursday 26 May 2011 8:44

Damn right they do.

Natalie403 6

Thursday 26 May 2011 8:44

Stereotypes xD

Comments

yeahbeinterested 0

Friday 27 May 2011 5:36

Yeah they do!

CJShults 0

Friday 27 May 2011 5:44

uh.... they do

myndilou 3

Friday 27 May 2011 5:55

yes they do... why? bc men shouldn't have pony tails.... r u a pony???

katiemarie23 0

Friday 27 May 2011 6:28

they are also sexy

kei1108 13

Friday 27 May 2011 7:02

I hate stereotypes... especially lookism. It sucks.

Jim717 1

Friday 27 May 2011 8:01

cut those girly tails off and look like a man instead of a dang hippy! problem solved!

NeilGnR 0

Friday 27 May 2011 8:12

You soooo deserved that!! Only Axl Rose pulls off the ponytail on guys.

butter123 0

Friday 27 May 2011 9:59

hahahhaa i wonder why

IceyJustin 1

Friday 27 May 2011 10:13

To lazy to read the comments but is it safe to assume there was one about being black, or no black people around to blame?

iluvanimegurl 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 5:26

haha tht sucks

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The Top

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 758

You deserved it 3 496

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

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You deserved it 3 581

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 262

You deserved it 3 812

Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 945

You deserved it 645

Today, my sister-in-law went into premature labour, and we were asked to keep it quiet. My mother immediately called all her friends and relayed the whole situation in intimate detail. Yet she wonders why they don't spend time with her, and nobody tells her anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 130

Today, I came for the first time WAY after the normal age, which is like 11 to 13 (I’m 16) and not only that, but I learned I have to deal with medical conditions, because it was painful when I ejaculated. The first time I even had testicle retraction. I’m just like my goddamn dad with his problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 136