Struggling Through Life By FML Approved - 05/09/2017 03:30 He's trying so hard. Bless his heart. I agree, your life sucks 401 You deserved it 256 Share Tweet Share
Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML I agree, your life sucks 407 You deserved it 2 024
Today, I hooked up with a man for the first time since my divorce. The sex was mind-blowing. His pillow talk then began with something like, “A cabal of Hollywood celebrities and political insiders want to rape your children…” I’m so dry now, I think I hit menopause. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 926 You deserved it 402
Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 962 You deserved it 3 115
Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "Condoms are too expensive." FML I agree, your life sucks 56 240 You deserved it 6 447
Today, my dad came out of jail. He showed me his tattoo of a Bible on his chest with all his 13 kids' names on it. I'm the only one whose name is spelled wrong. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 049 You deserved it 3 090
Today, I finally got my son to go for a run. He broke his neck 4 months ago and has been playing video games the entire time. I was a competitive runner once and run everyday. He kicked my ass, 21 minutes for the first 5k and he sped up. He was back playing video games when I finally got home. I think I lost a lung on the trails. FML I agree, your life sucks 203 You deserved it 651
Today, I tried to prank my little brother by jumping out from behind a door to scare him. I ended up scaring myself when I caught a glimpse of my weirdly-lit reflection in a mirror mid-jump. FML I agree, your life sucks 89 You deserved it 578
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He broke down crying because his mother is going to be so mad at him. He’s in his 30’s and we've lived together for over 4 years, it’s not like it was a drunken mistake, it just happened naturally. FML I agree, your life sucks 424 You deserved it 130