Painful and Health: Nuts

Nuts

By Painful - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 109

You deserved it 40 257

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Same thing different taste

By lageste - 20/11/2008 04:37 - France

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 204

You deserved it 5 334

By crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 061

You deserved it 6 606

Nutfirecracker

By Akashi - 22/07/2020 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch and his legs were on my lap. We heard a loud firework from somewhere outside our window, we both jumped and I felt the pain of him kicking me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 458

In pain

By Khail Lozano - 02/04/2022 00:00

Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 263

By person - 26/12/2010 17:59 - Jordan

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 938

You deserved it 28 352

Wakey wakey

By sacked - 22/02/2010 19:51 - United States

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 377

You deserved it 24 030

By ericane27 - 27/12/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 376

You deserved it 5 857

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 617

You deserved it 15 143

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 884

You deserved it 70 641

By chaoticnh - 24/06/2011 09:57 - Austria

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 235

You deserved it 12 618

skiz_fml 0

Monday 5 October 2009 12:11

This isnt an FYL or a YDI. Thats just ******* funny.

redbluegreen 40

Monday 5 October 2009 12:12

Firecrotch.

Comments

taylordianex04 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 0:14

is this anthony barbano ?! (:

Hourglass_fml 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 1:20

Owned!!!

yme 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 2:48

its like the south park when Jimmy has a dream he gets a giant erection, wakes up and punches himself in the crotch

danielw 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 2:55

can someone tell me why he deserved this, please?

arty191 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 4:15

ahhh funny =)

Yawn823 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 4:51

lol classic XD

royboh 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 6:50

Better than a burn.

doof_fisch 2

Tuesday 6 October 2009 7:06

Puts me in a Christmas mood: "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...."

basketballbrian 0

Wednesday 7 October 2009 3:19

hahahaha funny stuff

sux_2_b_you 0

Wednesday 7 October 2009 6:49

YDI for saying crotch

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Today, I briefly considered coming out to my parents when the topic of LGBTQ+ people came up in conversation, until my dad called them “socially deranged.” FML

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You deserved it 289

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 989

You deserved it 2 305