Work Long time, no hear

Long time, no hear

RckRagman - 30/04/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, three of the four stalls were occupied in the restroom. I took the fourth stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I heard, "Hey, how's it going?" I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

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dani - 25/03/2014 03:39 - United States - Dayton

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

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Take a break

Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

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The sweet smell of success

NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

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missmcfarty - 01/04/2016 01:42 - Australia - Townsville

Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML

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Grossed out

stinky - 12/12/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

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Pissed

Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

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Symphony

Anonymous - 06/05/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

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Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

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Sneaky

Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

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YallNoobs 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 21:16

how do you know he didnt see you through the tiny cracks between the doors when you walked by? or maybe looked at your shoes...? you took the 4th stall; he could see it all!

poolshark 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 21:25

I've heard of people who can burp out words, but farting your own name is another story all together...

Unit4 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 21:34

Could be a little annoying/upsetting I guess, but I think its great humor. Not laughing (directly) at you, just find it humorous. Nice to have a co-worker who isn't afraid of taboos too much.

chunkofchange 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 21:35

LMFAO how is this an FML? so much wiiin

dd3_fml 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 21:43

#7 is the man

pancakelover 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 21:45

I hate it when people listen to others use the restroom... That's why I go in there all paranoid and stuff...

mahpie93 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 21:50

Personally, I think this says more about the co workers life than your own!

alleycat2007 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 21:51

It sounds like he might have just been responding to your "greeting" as a joke...

rukusrazor 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 21:56

See, that shit is just funny. In no way a FML. Big whoop. He may have identified you a few minutes later from the smell too, what's the difference. Or maybe it was your shoes. Or maybe he was making a 'stall-call' and you assumed he was talking to you.