Miscellaneous: Jumpy

Jumpy

By Chelsea - 21/04/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 704

You deserved it 71 119

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Same thing different taste

By almost_a_pro - 23/04/2015 13:43 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 112

You deserved it 9 097

Catching strays

By Anonymous - 04/06/2024 13:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I heard something that sounded like a series of gunshots outside my house. My Dad screamed, "Get down!" at the top of his lungs. The whole family immediately dropped to the floor, my sister whimpering and trembling, only moments later to hear my Dad cackling uncontrollably over us. They were just fireworks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 113

Badass

By Jim - 28/10/2025 22:00

Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 1 085

Doofus

By Pete - 28/09/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to make popcorn in the microwave but forgot to remove the plastic wrapper. The kitchen filled with smoke, the fire alarm went off and my neighbors came knocking to see if I was alright. When they asked what caused it, I had to admit that it was “Erm… popcorn.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 414

Nice…

By MexyBoy - 11/06/2019 16:08

Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 307

Confusing

By frenchpop1960 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 597

You deserved it 42 151

Safe space

By lI. - 13/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I was on a Zoom call with my therapist and we were discussing my PTSD. He assured me that I was safe and no one would burst into the room. Just then, my mom burst into my room and started screaming about dirty dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 132

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 544

You deserved it 190

Oh no, the fun police is here

By We're still popping them - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Fremont

Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 075

You deserved it 2 940

Private freakout

By emmy - 03/06/2022 00:00

Today, the neighbors called the cops on us because they heard a series of loud screams. No, no one was being murdered, but my mom found one of my socks in the laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 198

shaBAMalex 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:04

Calm down. Lol.

nomadxx7 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:05

Gunshots =/= popcorn Come out the country. I'll show you what gunshots sound like

Comments

xalexrulesx 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 0:16

WOW, U WIERDO. U MUST THINK THAT THE SOUND OF THE SINK RUNNING IS LIKE A ROARING WATERFALL. XD.

itsame123_fml 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 0:20

ouchh

yui567 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 0:22

wow, it's pretty hard to mistake popcorn for gunshots. i wouldn't wish PTSD on anyone, but if you don't have it you need to learn to relax.

KiwiBlu 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 0:38

Is that even possible? Popcorn...for gunshots.

KiwiBlu 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 0:40

Ahahaha, #27...

NGM_KID 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 1:02

#124 made me laugh for some reason :D if this is true, i can just imagine you screaming like a dumbass!!

Azwethinkweiz78 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 1:15

what would your father say to that

BrokenPsycho 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 1:21

Ummm ur an idiot nd i dont believe u cuz a gun shot iz like 20 times louder than pop corn

BrokenPsycho 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 1:23

nd to all the people saying move out of the ghetto she doesnt live there losers becausse she would no wat a gunshot sounds like

Kaileigh 6

Wednesday 22 April 2009 1:26

Something is wrong with you that you think popcorn sounds equal gunshots. Is this the first time you've ever heard popcorn pop? SERIOUSLY.

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Today, I told my husband that I missed how exciting it was when we were dating, so he pretended to sneak into my room through the window, we had sex, then fell asleep. All very exciting. Then the bastard actually snuck out while I was still asleep, and didn’t call me all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 673

Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 126

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 336

You deserved it 15 568

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 748

You deserved it 17 297

Today, it's been two weeks since someone walked into a bank in another province and showing only an RV receipt had 40k wired from my account. I notified them immediately, and was told to call back later. Then I was told it wasn't fraud, it was done in person. I will get the money back but unfortunately that's only the start… FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 183

Today, my girlfriend and I tried to have sex in the shower. While trying to support her weight, as we got into things, I slipped backwards on the wet floor and fell through the Pyrex side of the shower, with her crashing down on me. I now have bits of Pyrex in my back and have to replace the shower side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 996

You deserved it 880

Same thing different taste

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