Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 458 You deserved it 3 841 Share Tweet Share
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times, he told me, "Why? It feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence, then he then replied, "I'm not gay, I swear." FML I agree, your life sucks 38 166 You deserved it 5 244
Today, after my wife broke my heart years ago when she cheated, I then met my sexual ying, and developed a napalm relationship, but she lost her marriage and relies on me for everything. So now I have FOUR human beings relying on me. Nobody should say anything but I deserved it. FML I agree, your life sucks 219 You deserved it 1 634
Today, I discovered that the painful eczema I get every winter was actually being caused by the moisturising cream I use to treat it. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 455 You deserved it 4 321
Today, I went round to my grandparents' to help set up their new Satellite TV. When I turned it on, for some reason it defaulted to "Arab Babes TV". I was therefore inadvertently responsible for the broadcast of porn in my grandparents' living room. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 998 You deserved it 4 738
Today, my boyfriend came up with this thrillingly romantic proposal: “I’m paying way too much income tax. How about we get married?” FML I agree, your life sucks 60 448 You deserved it 6 062
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 225 You deserved it 208
Today, I cracked an egg with a disgusting rotten black yolk into the pan, ruining my almost done breakfast. Last time this happened, just coincidentally, two deaths in the family and a near deadly mental breakdown followed. Now eggs seem too gross to eat, and I’m afraid this time was another bad omen. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 071 You deserved it 166
Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML I agree, your life sucks 299 You deserved it 111
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?