Work, Health, Embarrassing Farts It's a gas gas gas

It's a gas gas gas

annie - 16/02/2023 04:00

Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML

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andinpublictoo - 29/10/2021 22:59

Today, and for the first time in my life, I was unable to trust a fart. FML

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Denial

Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

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The unexpected

RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

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Toot toot

Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML

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Many such cases

Anonymous - 10/04/2025 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML

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Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

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Job performance

AZlan - 10/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in a long meeting and desperately needed to fart. I carefully tried to release it slowly, but of course, it was the loudest fart I've ever made. Just after it happened, my boss looked at me and said, “That's the best contribution you've ever made in one of these meetings.” FML

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The sweet smell of success

NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

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combovercaiti_ - 25/01/2019 12:00

Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML

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Am I a ghost to you?

AJ. - 19/08/2021 14:01

Today, at work, I thought I’d sneak a wee fart out, but ended up shitting myself. I just left work without telling anyone, went home, showered, then went back to work. No one missed me being away for 2 hours. FML

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tiptoppc 19

Thursday 16 February 2023 18:23

After that, are you ok? Annie? Annie, are you ok? Are you ok, annie? You’ve been whipped by, loud wind-ensemble.

Chazzster 29

Thursday 16 February 2023 22:48

Were you thinking that if nobody hears a fart then no one will smell it?

tiptoppc 19

Thursday 16 February 2023 18:23

After that, are you ok? Annie? Annie, are you ok? Are you ok, annie? You’ve been whipped by, loud wind-ensemble.

Chazzster 29

Thursday 16 February 2023 22:48

Were you thinking that if nobody hears a fart then no one will smell it?

metroido 17

Friday 17 February 2023 7:24

you do realize not everyone’s farts smell?

Chazzster 29

Friday 17 February 2023 19:14

Reminds me of a very old joke about a person who apparently had a stopped up nose and a hearing problem… Just because you don’t smell it doesn’t mean others don’t.