Intimacy Sex Girls will be girls

Girls will be girls

Anonymous - 13/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML

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Brax - 30/05/2012 09:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

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ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

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The geyser

Anonymous - 15/05/2020 23:00

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

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Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

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Seventh heaven

Egyptian ToyBoy - 17/12/2019 20:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML

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SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

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TJ - 06/04/2012 11:10 - United Kingdom - Redhill

Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML

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Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

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Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

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Jenn - 24/09/2017 10:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I had my first astounding orgasm during which I simultaneously shit myself and vomited. So thankful my new partner was present. FML

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xxlk4xx 6

Wednesday 13 January 2021 17:49

shit happens lol! honestly sometimes things get messy during sex, the shower fixes that right up!

Demitrius_T 21

Wednesday 13 January 2021 22:25

What a shitty situation...

xxlk4xx 6

Wednesday 13 January 2021 17:49

shit happens lol! honestly sometimes things get messy during sex, the shower fixes that right up!

Demitrius_T 21

Wednesday 13 January 2021 22:25

What a shitty situation...

phybreawptic 13

Thursday 14 January 2021 15:21

Is there an occasion when a whole hand is inside of you it's not deep? Just a thought.

SJKatt 15

Friday 15 January 2021 7:50

I mean it's the difference between just the fist and then entire forearm.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Thursday 14 January 2021 22:22

Fisting is fun.

tounces7 27

Saturday 16 January 2021 2:13

Eh, be thankful you weren't on top at the time. A mouthful is much worse than a handful.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

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Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

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Today, I got screamed at by my boss for holding a guy to corporate policy at a rental agency. The guy was rich, so apparently rules don't apply to him. FML

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