Spiders, Scary and Animals: Catch

Catch

By NaniNarcotic - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 970

You deserved it 74 295

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Same thing different taste

By lacsmac2 - 01/11/2015 14:10 - Australia

Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 630

You deserved it 2 690

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 299

You deserved it 14 272

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 747

You deserved it 30 905

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 333

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 307

You deserved it 32 211

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 319

You deserved it 23 918

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 469

She definitely won though

By Anonymous - 24/08/2018 15:00

Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 672

You deserved it 816

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 166

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 497

You deserved it 3 188

white16sox 19

Tuesday 16 August 2011 15:57

What what in the butt?

Ballplayer3313 3

Tuesday 16 August 2011 15:57

RHYNO HUMP!

Comments

H00SIERBOY 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:14

Karma's a bitch.

zaveeshaveesh3 7

Tuesday 16 August 2011 17:29

Just make sure that bitch is beautiful...she will by lil Wayne haha

H00SIERBOY 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:23

haha for sure.

raphanne_fml 33

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:17

Is the spider ok? By the way, you so deserved this one! Mwahaha!

tj4234 35

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:19

YDI. Now get off my internetz

uprising_fml 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:28

you deserve it for being a dick brother .

brookwick 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:45

Why do you figure it's a guy ?

uprising_fml 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:10

I stand corrected: OP you deserve it for being a dick/bitch . better ? :p

8sq 13

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:29

spidey likey them boobies

trishmg12 4

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:30

karma will come back and bite you in the ass.

gimp21_11 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:14

Or throw you into a wall

gamerhead 3

Tuesday 16 August 2011 20:38

Why does every one blame Karma? What did she do to you?

jojolopez97 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:34

Ydi for being a jerk xDD

gleeklove 2

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:36

Kinda ur fault in the first place...

kaya1234 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:36

I sympathise, your life sucks! I would have done the same and then died of spider grossness at the end

Egnar 19

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:49

I don't understand the common trend in FMLs to put the phrase "thought it would be funny" before an act that is either 1) Violent without any practical joke recourse or 2) Reckless without any humor involved. I get doing something reckless or causing a minor bit of pain for joke value when it's necessary but this is just mean spirited and you deserve it to the fullest, if not fuller extent. Lets review: Causing harm to somebody for no reason is "NOT" funny. IE, Kneeing your sister in the ass while she's bent over [which was probably to make her lose her balance and fall] However, Kneeing your sister in the ass so she falls over because she's bending right over a table that just so happens to have a strategically placed circus style creme pie resting on it so that she falls into it and ends up looking like a clown may be a bit funny. . . .no pie?. . no funny.

white16sox 19

Tuesday 16 August 2011 17:07

Just to bring back an old FML, tl,dr.

xXshadowrollerXx 6

Tuesday 16 August 2011 17:26

Definitely tl;dr. I even tried to skim to get the drift of your essay, but it was to no avail, and I ended up writing this instead.

xXshadowrollerXx 6

Tuesday 16 August 2011 17:26

Definitely tl;dr. I even tried to skim to get the drift of your essay, but it was to no avail, and I ended up writing this instead.

RafaelDeLaGhetto 3

Tuesday 16 August 2011 17:58

Quit being lazy *****. No one cares if you have ADHD and can't read a paragraph or two; it takes 20 seconds to read if you're not retarded. You're what's wrong with society. Inb4tl;dr

white16sox 19

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:30

I was making a joke I did read it.

Egnar 19

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:45

Rafael is right, I timed myself. Took roughly 20 seconds to reread it. Guess I should stick to horrible puns in order to be relevant on FML.

white16sox 19

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:15

I read the post god dammit. I was merely making a reference to an old fml. Rafael you over reacted it was a joke. You are just making an ass of youself.

white16sox 19

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:15

I read the post god dammit. I was merely making a reference to an old fml. Rafael you over reacted it was a joke. You are just making an ass of youself.