Work

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 02:01 - Canada

Today, I work at a super toxic workplace, where the owner/boss takes part in some rude/bullying behavior and does nothing when I'm being bullied by coworkers. As a matter of fact, he takes their side. I have been looking for a new job in what I do, but haven't had any luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 106

Difficult

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 20:01

Today, a patient, who is normally pretty chill, was being quite difficult for my workmates. They were whinging about him and I defended him, he's normally a sweet guy so something must be upsetting him. I went to chat with him, he punched me and called a useless a**hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 130

Classic blunder

By churchman - 28/06/2021 06:01 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I serve at church and had a funeral. As I greeted the family, someone asked how I was doing. Without thought, I responded, "Good to be alive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 817

Don't bring your lovelife into the workplace

By Anonymous - 28/06/2021 04:01

Today, and for a while, we've known our coworker was cheating on her husband. The issue is it's affecting everyone at work, even my boss doesn't know what to do. Can't fire her, because we have no one to replace her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 242

It says a lot of shit

By Imnotfromhere - 26/06/2021 00:01

Today, I showed up to work with a hickey on my neck and found out my boss is very Christian. He wasted my entire lunch break ranting to me about how the Bible says I shouldn't be having sex before marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 368

Now hiring. Please.

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 11:01 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend's 16-year-old daughter got a job. I'm 29, have a Master’s degree in chemistry and I'm still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 241

Squeezed one out

By harris - 25/06/2021 02:00

Today, I was desperate for the toilet when I got stopped by our CEO for a chat about a project I made a ton of profit on. I was so close to disaster that when she pulled me in for a hug I wasn’t expecting, it happened. Diarrhoea down my legs and shoes. I practically made the CEO vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 360

You deserved it 238

Today, on Asshat Bosses…

By need a job - 24/06/2021 22:02 - United States

Today, I was fired from my cashier job for "abandoning my post." I saw a man pass out in the 100° heat in front of our store and I rushed to give him water. Not to worry though, my manager assured me he wouldn’t press charges for the water I took from the fridge, but I’m still fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 887

You deserved it 112

Full of himself

By myfavoritesgouda - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Manhasset

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself, after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 617

You deserved it 9 676

Stranded

By mmmmmm no - 24/06/2021 02:00

Today. I worked my 10-hour shift and drove over 3 hours to the hotel that I'd reserved a room at for 3 nights. The hotel required ID to get a room with a bank or credit card. I realized I'd lost my state ID, they wouldn't accept my work photo ID, they won't let me pay cash… No ID, no room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 174

Alexa, play "Career Opportunities" by The Clash

By Anonymous - 23/06/2021 02:01

Today, I realized I freaking hate my career. I've only got through a semester, but I feel like I can't end the four years it takes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 192

**** McGee

By Anonymous - 21/06/2021 20:01

Today, I was supposed to ask for extra memory allocation for my Linux server, but instead of typing, "Can you increase my memory capacity?", I typed, "Can you increase my mammary capacity?" in a group full of senior engineers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 304

Looking for a job?

By Anonymous - 21/06/2021 16:01 - India - Bangalore

Today, the guy we'd offered to hire, who had a 2-month notice period, emailed to say he couldn't come after all, because his employer offered to retain him. In this two-month timeframe, we didn't interview anybody else and now we're in deep shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 518

To snitch or not to snitch

By bioloss - 21/06/2021 14:01 - United States - New York

Today, I found out my mom is sleeping with my boss. My dad doesn’t know yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 95

Great organization

By Anonymous - 21/06/2021 08:02

Today, while leaving late for work, I walked out to my car only to find the back window broken. Worst part was, I still had to go to work because no one who could cover me showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 86

Do as you're told

By ugh1234 - 21/06/2021 02:01

Today, I was demoted at work to a much harder and more time-consuming position because, I quote, "You have more experience." My boss is now telling the others I volunteered to be moved to the lower position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 86

Postman Pat

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 06:01

Today, I got a callback for a job, asking for an interview. I got very excited but also anxious because it's my first job after graduating from uni. While I was on call scheduling the interview, I realised I'd accidentally applied to the Royal Post to be a mailman. Now I have to call again and explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 1 083

Workers of the world unite

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 04:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the day before I was supposed to go back to work after I got sick, ended up in the hospital, and primary doctor put me on medical leave, I got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 95

Question time

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 18:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I'm constantly checking my emails to see if any of the jobs have got back to me, but nothing yet. There's this one place I really want to work at, and I've already sent a follow-up email for the job, and it's driving me crazy that I haven't heard anything. What should I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 243

Murphy's Law

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 11:01 - Israel

Today, I had a night shift as a front desk clerk in a nice hotel. Even with 2 years experience, I truly wasn't ready for what was about to happen. From a burned hand by boiling water to unpaid rooms via a guest identification scandal at 3 a.m., everything that could go wrong did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 97

Never in the buff

By ShyVirgin - 19/06/2021 06:01 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, a staff member entered my room, thinking it was empty. I was naked. This is the second time something like this has happened in the week I have lived here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 122

Ad break

By Remy - 17/06/2021 16:01

Today, I had the brilliant idea of scanning my PC in the afternoon, because Malwarebytes told me I might have malware and it's been running hot and slow lately. Five and a half hours later, the scan is 1.3% complete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 183

I could be happy

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 00:01

Today, I got my first job offer in over a year, a mere few days after being accepted to study for my dream career. My crippling depression won't allow me to enjoy any of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 160

All you need is hate

By Anonymous - 16/06/2021 18:01

Today, I was told that a coworker of mine absolutely hates me. Why? Because sometimes I have a slight stutter, and he thinks I'm mocking his very apparent stutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 84

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 16/06/2021 02:01

Today, I found out why the only business in town that operates in my chosen industry won’t hire me. Several months ago, my father antagonised the owner, bringing up my name in the process. I haven’t spoken to the man in five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 73

PTSD FML

By Eddward - 15/06/2021 06:00

Today, I was working a phone call in a call center when I suddenly began to faint while at it. It turned out to be a bad dream I'd woken up from, because it's been three months since I've worked at that call center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 120

Manage this

By fuck this company - 14/06/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, the same manager who wrote me up for missing work when my mom had had a stroke, thought it was perfectly acceptable to announce she was leaving work 6 hours early to take her dogs to the groomers. Apparently, that appointment was more urgent than me riding in an ambulance with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 82

Unreasonable

By Anonymous - 13/06/2021 13:59 - Australia - Epping

Today, my disability job agent, who's supposed to help me find work that fits my limitations, told me to immediately withdraw from a job offer that suited me, because it didn't meet her "benchmark". She then told me that she would decide what's "appropriate" for me, and if I don't comply, my support will be revoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 101

Nooooob, dude

By Anonymous - 13/06/2021 11:01

Today, I found out that the automatic message on the bottom of my email that I use for work is the signature, and can be changed, but for the past year I've used it, it's been an 'Get Outlook for Android' ad link the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 869

Retail work is hell

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a girl threatened to castrate me if I didn’t refund her for a remote control that SHE damaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 73

FML on Facebook

Keywords

My ex Love Sex Weird Surprise Work Roommate Fire Neighbours Miscellaneous Noise Birthday Cute Embarrassing Games Weddings Awkward Money Suspicious Music Drunk Cops Gross Poopoo peepee Cars Transportation Relatable Bodyshaming Dating Family

The Top

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 338

You deserved it 6 046

Today, my boyfriend threw me a going-away party. During the party, I caught him in my bedroom hooking up with my friend because "you're leaving soon anyway so it doesn't matter." I'll only be gone for 6 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 878

You deserved it 3 349

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 183

You deserved it 11 830

Today, a high maintenance client informed me that he wants 50+ pages of new content added to his website "now". He doesn't understand that I also have 30+ other clients to write for. I'm wondering if I can charge him for my new anxiety meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 331

You deserved it 329

Today, I guess I’m really special because my body can do things others can't, like eat loads of good food and still feel weak and malnourished. Or spend 13 hours in bed and come out bleary-eyed with lack of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 184

Today, I was taking a selfie in a café because the lighting was perfect. As I leaned back for the perfect angle, my chair tipped over, and I fell to the ground in front of a bunch of people. The barista was so concerned, he came over with a first aid kit, while I just wanted to disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 748