Work

By gotta euthanize em all - 29/11/2014 19:45 - Canada

Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML

agreeclassic 33 017

vote type 1 3 717

Slippery

By I'm so wet, baby - 28/11/2014 17:27 - United Kingdom

Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML

agreeclassic 35 808

vote type 1 7 639

By caterinette - 27/11/2014 02:04 - Portugal

Today, it was my turn to open the bar I work at. As I walked into our terrace, I found our insane upstairs neighbour leaving the scene without a word. This was right before I spotted the steaming pile of dung she'd left behind. FML

agreeclassic 30 180

vote type 1 2 252

By anonymous - 25/11/2014 03:25 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I was in a good mood for once, but my professor looked at me and said, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML

agreeclassic 32 639

vote type 1 3 787

Progress

By stupid - 24/11/2014 19:21 - United States - Middleton

Today, I realized that customers at my work ask me, "Are you new or just stupid?" just as often as they did when I first started. FML

agreeclassic 31 277

vote type 1 8 148

By justinmdent - 24/11/2014 03:48 - United States - Excelsior Springs

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

agreeclassic 36 711

vote type 1 2 962

Stiff upper lip

By StomachofTinfoil - 24/11/2014 01:59 - United States - Bar Harbor

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

agreeclassic 35 328

vote type 1 3 610

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 10:27 - Australia - Box Hill South

Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML

agreeclassic 30 931

vote type 1 2 545

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 10:03 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, the Salvation Army stationed one of their obnoxious bell-ringers in the mall right outside my store. My employees and I can wave goodbye to any form of sanity for the next month. FML

agreeclassic 29 883

vote type 1 5 181

By KilledTheMoment - 23/11/2014 06:10 - United States - Mundelein

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML

agreeclassic 35 067

vote type 1 17 865

WTF just happened?

By Carnage23 - 22/11/2014 10:16 - Germany - Essen

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss then announced that he's coming with us. FML

agreeclassic 33 155

vote type 1 4 015

By Anonymous - 21/11/2014 00:43 - United States

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

agreeclassic 32 936

vote type 1 10 903

By spreadburger - 21/11/2014 00:29 - United States - Tampa

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

agreeclassic 36 972

vote type 1 2 847

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 23:59 - United States - Eugene

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

agreeclassic 29 018

vote type 1 5 930

Moron

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 20:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because, "Wi-Fi’s all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said, "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil Ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

agreeclassic 36 935

vote type 1 4 227

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:20 - Canada - Sherbrooke

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

agreeclassic 35 297

vote type 1 3 926

By bookworm - 19/11/2014 20:56 - United States - Victoria

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

agreeclassic 34 698

vote type 1 5 913

By ohgosh... - 18/11/2014 03:10 - United States - Fenton

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

agreeclassic 39 300

vote type 1 2 776

By Anonymous - 17/11/2014 16:59 - United States

Today, after driving hundreds of miles to sign the paperwork for my new job, I found out the guy who hired me recently quit, and HR has no idea who I am. FML

agreeclassic 36 582

vote type 1 2 589

By username - 17/11/2014 03:52 - United States - Elkhart

Today, my father told me to "go get a job". He has been unemployed for 3 years. FML

agreeclassic 32 000

vote type 1 3 260

By Anonymous - 17/11/2014 02:25 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML

agreeclassic 35 238

vote type 1 2 600

By UH60 - 15/11/2014 22:58 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML

agreeclassic 29 585

vote type 1 6 535

UH60 app_comment_confession_title

UH60 26

Sunday 16 November 2014 9:31

Yep, didn't cramp and so dropped two minutes off my run.

Weird customer of the day

By ChimerV - 15/11/2014 18:20 - France - Champenoux

Today, a customer limped over to me in one of the dishwasher aisles and asked if we sold dishwashers. I said yes and pointed at all the dishwashers. He looked around for a couple of seconds, belched, then said "Oh... right!" and walked off. No commission for me, then. FML

agreeclassic 28 491

vote type 1 4 163

By thefatnurse - 13/11/2014 02:48 - United States - Roswell

Today, one of the patients on the mental health unit where I work looked me up and down and said, "Well, I guess it's a popular misconception that all fat people are jolly." FML

agreeclassic 33 222

vote type 1 4 622

By elsatheannoyed - 12/11/2014 04:34 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman. My name is Elsa. FML

agreeclassic 49 129

vote type 1 4 543

By Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - 12/11/2014 03:16 - United States - Spotswood

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

agreeclassic 39 120

vote type 1 5 197

By Tyrez - 11/11/2014 21:57 - United States

Today, I lost all hope on making my project high quality because of my partner's incompetence. My partner, AKA the company president. FML

agreeclassic 31 400

vote type 1 2 532

Tyrez app_comment_confession_title

Tyrez 32

Wednesday 12 November 2014 20:10

The project we are working on is a video. So far it looks like something we would have done in high school. He thinks that a screenshot means taking a picture of the screen. I should probably take your advice and do most of it on my own but make sure he feels like he contributed ;)

By all shat out - 07/11/2014 06:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

agreeclassic 33 594

vote type 1 4 232

By NoJobNovember - 06/11/2014 19:09 - United States - Wadsworth

Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML

agreeclassic 29 573

vote type 1 38 313

By HelpMe1 - 06/11/2014 06:53 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

agreeclassic 36 270

vote type 1 2 956

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, my anxiety has gotten so bad that I start to panic every time someone even approaches me. I'm a cashier, and I'm only halfway through my shift. FML

agreeclassic 13 435

vote type 1 2 033

Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia who is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of two years called and proposed to her. FML

agreeclassic 56 954

vote type 1 22 250

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

agreeclassic 52 731

vote type 1 15 308

Today, I went to surprise my girlfriend, who was at work at Target, with flowers. I asked the employee at the entrance if she was there. When he asked who I was, his face lit up red and he started profusely apologizing, stating, “She told me you guys broke up.” before guiding me to her area. News to me. FML

agreeclassic 599

vote type 1 98

Today, I had to vacuum for the first time since getting my new kitten. I feared that he would freak out, so I took measures to make sure he would be comfortable, including a "safe room" with toys and a bed for him. As expected, he freaked out. But instead of going to his room, he jumped and grappled onto my face. FML

agreeclassic 370

vote type 1 176

Today, I got new AirPods. As I was sitting on the toilet, they fell out of my hoodie pocket into the toilet while it was flushing. FML

agreeclassic 482

vote type 1 976