Stalker

Subway creeper

By Anonymous - 08/07/2025 00:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 964

Go away

By pokèscared - 10/03/2020 05:00

Today, the creepy dude I’d been desperately trying to avoid was able to figure out which building I work in, the general vicinity of my house and which restaurants I frequent. He learned all this by the gifts I sent, not knowing it was him, on the Pokémon Go app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 593

Creeped out

By Anonymous - 07/07/2022 02:00

Today, I ran home because a guy I had never seen before got off the bus at the same time as me, and followed me almost all the way home. I was crying for my mom to call the police but my brother just snorted at me, because, “Only pretty girls have stalkers.” I wish I was an only child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 312

You deserved it 264

Creepypasta

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got ice cream with a guy I'd met at a wrestling match a few days ago. When I got home, I found out that my mother had been sitting in the parking lot and watched us through the windows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 895

You deserved it 2 937

Long time coming

By That was twelve years ago - 23/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Edison

Today, the girl I stalked in high school found me. I've since gotten therapy and fixed my attachment issues, but she told my fiancée the whole story anyway. Now I'm single and sleeping on my clothes in the back of a U-haul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 298

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 584

You deserved it 44 908

Creeped out

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Coraopolis

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 877

You deserved it 7 876

Call the cops

By sacrophage - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 202

You deserved it 2 955

Don't be that guy

By Anonymous - 19/04/2022 10:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was set up on my first blind date since my divorce. My expectations were low, but when she showed up, she was a smoking hot. She was way out of my league, she was delightful and kind throughout the date, but my low confidence shined through. That night she acquired an expensive dinner and a stalker. Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 1 489

By beablue18 - 04/07/2011 00:27 - Germany

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 806

You deserved it 2 996

Stalker panic

By Anonymous - 04/09/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, I was walking to the optometrist when I saw my creepy stalker following me. The entire shopping centre then sounded the alarm, so the rail was half down. Desperate to get away from my stalker, I turned around and walked out the store and hit my head on the rail in front of the employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 153

Snoopy

By No way - 16/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I liked one of my crush’s Instagram post from 2012 while stalking his profile. Despite me realising my mistake and un-liking the post, he immediately followed me back, and sent me a DM saying, “Wow, that’s some deep digging.” I’m now referred to as his "creepy stalker archaeologist of Instagram." FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 565

Unlucky in love

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 16:00 - United States - Martinsburg

Today, it was supposed to be my first date with a girl I've been speaking to for three months. Last night, she revealed that she's still married, that her husband is "not so bad", and then confessed it all to him and blocked me. It was gonna be my first date in six years, after the last one stalked me across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 166

Hopeless

By Anonymous - 02/11/2023 22:00

Today, as my stalker was finally led away in handcuffs, my auntie asked if maybe I was being a bit harsh having him arrested, and maybe I should give him a second chance because he seemed like "a sweet man", and "it’s not like I have any other men lining up to date me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 103

Bad choice of material, dude

By screwed - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I told my on and off girlfriend as a joke that I stalked her two years ago. She didn't believe me. When I say she didn't believe me, I mean she didn't believe it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 2 391

Creepy

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 08:47 - Canada

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently duplicated my keys before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering, “He looks like Jesus.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 449

You deserved it 3 674

Creepy dude

By janegeorge - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Kanata

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 129

You deserved it 3 941

Stalker vibes

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 20:02 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had a surprise visitor at my place. A guy I was talking to a few months back. He said he was down my way getting gas and thought he’d stop by. He lives more than 45 minutes from my place, in the opposite direction, with about 20 gas stations between us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 217

Introverted clumsiness

By I'm a fucking idiot!!! And I suck at using discord. Going back to tumblr. - 09/12/2024 09:00 - Canada - Concord

Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 181

Stalked

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, I'm currently being stalked/harassed by my narcissistic ex's new baby mama. She's trying to get me fired from my new job for taking her man, when in reality I want nothing to do with him. The fact that she has taken my baby's name and named their daughter it, is freaking me out. She has people find me everywhere I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 157

By Anonyme - 06/04/2019 02:00

Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a specific restaurant in able to stalk his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 366

You deserved it 164

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 20/07/2023 12:00 - Canada - Moncton

Today, I decided to reach out to someone I'd met randomly. I found them on social media and sent them a message. After telling my SO, he pointed out that that was stalking. I'm a creep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 886

Pining

By akvan - 06/09/2022 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm obsessing over finding out anything about my ex. A month ago, I finally deleted his number from my phone, but if I'd known it would just make me start obsessing over him again, then I wouldn't have deleted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 1 219

Odd rejection

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 00:28 - United States

Today, I found a note on my door that said, "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked." Later, I found another note that said, "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 990

You deserved it 3 920

What do you want from me?

By charapos - 28/11/2021 08:01

Today, the person who I've asked to back off is still messaging me and making me more stressed out. I'm pretty sure he fancies me, but I'm asexual. This after he already promised to back off multiple times. I think I've got myself a stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 236

My guy

By Anonymous - 03/01/2022 02:00 - United Kingdom - Newport

Today, I realised that the only friend who talks to me consistently is a guy who used to stalk me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 167

Mortifying

By Creeper - 20/02/2024 16:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I accidentally liked my ex's new partner's photo while stalking them on social media. Now I have to decide between pretending it never happened if they happened to notice, or sending a fruit basket with a note that says, "Sorry for the accidental like. It's not you; it's muscle memory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 713

Police protected wedding

By Tiana - 14/03/2022 02:00

Today, my stepfather currently has a restraining order of 1 Km because he kept on stalking me and my fiancée. I'm getting married in a week and I just found out that my mother invited him. I need to think fast on how to stop this scumbag from showing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 86

Tracking

By Anonymous - 11/07/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 126

Is it just me or…?

By Anonymous - 15/07/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Hornsey

Today, after I ghosted a good friend for 6 months due to mental health issues/dropping out/other life changes, it's been a week since I got back in contact, and I think she hates me now. I stalk her on social media sometimes on my laptop and she made a playlist called "What the F*** are you doing?" like 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 762

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I woke up to my roommate's friend rustling in the attic without permission to be there. When I asked how he got in with all doors and windows locked, he simply said, "It's a secret." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 056

You deserved it 1 414

Today, I realized I apologize too often as I said I was sorry to my boyfriend as he broke up with me. I apologized for being sad and making him feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 490

You deserved it 5 755

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 606

You deserved it 6 028

Today, I tried to call my company's HR to report my boss for sexually inappropriate comments towards me. Turns out, the only person I can complain to is the franchise owner, who has been good friends with my boss for over a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 164

Today, I emailed a bunch of documents to a potential client, only to later realise later I'd also emailed them a folder of mine and my husband's very intimate photos. There’s things in there we only do when I’m very drunk, and am very embarrassed by. I’ve been ducking my bosses calls for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 1 352

Today, I think I figured out why my computer refused to start up properly the other day. My cat is a cord chewer. Now I have to close the door when I'm not in there, until I drum it into his head to not do that. And before you ask: yes, he's orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 148