Sports

OP here. Most of y'all know me. This is my 3rd FML posted this year so I got a little streak going. Update: the doctor who performed surgery on me has been hospitalized. I'm not sure why yet. I need a follow-up appointment to get my stitches removed. That being said, my delay may be longer than expected before I can lace the gloves again.

Thanks, I hate it

By nakedyogagirl - 03/09/2010 00:16 - United Kingdom

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 095

You deserved it 39 722

Volley girl

By Lexi801 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I had a volleyball game, and we were down by 13 points. I looked up at the crowd, and my mom was shaking her head in disappointment. When it was my turn to serve, I aced them, and tied the score. When I looked up she was gone. She'd left. When I got home, I heard how I sucked for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 400

You deserved it 2 961

Game, set, and match

By Ouch - 19/07/2015 14:36 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I was at a professional tennis match. The ball was hit extremely hard, resulting in it going into the crowd. And when I say crowd, I mean my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 358

You deserved it 2 147

Wax on, wax off

By thanks mom - 03/05/2019 14:00

Today, after 10 years of intense training, I earned a black belt in karate. When I told my mom, she asked how long it took me, then laughed and sarcastically remarked, "Wow. SO impressive," whilst slow-clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 419

You deserved it 345

Slight discrepancy

By Anonymous - 04/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I finally beat my personal best on a 10K run. I was so pleased with myself that I forgot to stop my fitness tracker before driving home. According to the app, I finished the last 8 miles at 45 mph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 117

Mix up

By Anonymous - 17/05/2026 15:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, my friend, her husband, their baby and I went to a baseball game. The lady next to us asked if her and his kid was mine and her husband's kids. She's 5 years older than me and a different race. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 71

Surely that's enough

By Anonymous - 17/05/2025 09:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I was proud of myself for taking a break from my sedentary lifestyle to go to the gym 3 times a week (and have been doing so for awhile) and do cardio for 30 minutes on an exercise bike. It turns out that's less than the 5 times a day you're supposed to get 30 minutes of exercise. I'm off by 2 times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 153

Knackered and shattered

By Out of Shape - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Egypt

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 137

You deserved it 35 906

On the move

By Anonymous - 11/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out that not only do I have to move to fucking Miami for my dad's work, but my new school doesn't have a hockey team. My parents won't let me stay behind with my grandparents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 117

We're the main characters

By GymHunky - 03/11/2021 11:00

Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 160

Brain worm

By Anonymous - 18/12/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I brought my nephew to hockey practice knowing he needed help tying his skates. Multiple times I tied the wrong knot and my mind blanked. I had to ask someone else to tie his skates for him. I’m 32. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 259

Extreme dieting

By Kaemeleon - 21/05/2025 22:00 - Hong Kong - Tai Wai

Today, a day after after I took a diet pill, I participated in a sprint test. I shat in my pants. I finished the test but got a bad grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 211

Same joke, different year

By joleezad5 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Nixa

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 233

You deserved it 2 478

Get on with it

By Not PMS, she's just a mega bitch - 08/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, at my son's soccer game, I tried to give him a bottle of Gatorade, but the top was damp with condensation and I couldn't get a grip. I wiped it dry and tried again, successfully this time. No big deal, except my wife was watching and screamed, "IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG!" Everyone stopped and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 82

FOOTBALL player reveals TRUTH!

By fml9124 - 28/01/2021 20:01

Today, I told my wife Philip Rivers retired. Being born and bred in Baltimore, she hates anything Colts now. "Philip is a stupid name", she says. I pointed out my middle name is Philip. She laughed, then said, "Are you serious?" We've been married 33 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 137

For the full marathon, it's a cantaloupe

By Lisa - 22/06/2026 12:00 - Canada

Today, after months of training, I ran my first half marathon. Everything was going according to plan until I crossed the finish line and raised my arms for the official photo. At that exact second, a volunteer handed me a banana, which smacked directly into my face. The event photographer captured every frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 67

Not fair!

By Anonymous - 26/03/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 113

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The Top

Today, after 22 hours running around the hospital, I found some time to sit still and have a sandwich. My attending physician walked by and commented that I must not have enough work to do. The same person who 12 hours ago said finding time to eat was a skill, since I was eating on the go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 676

You deserved it 652

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 660

You deserved it 55 453

Today, after 3 months of job hunting, I finally got a job. But now my birth certificate and social security card are somehow lost, and I can't start until I let them see a copy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 410

Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 248

Today, I tried to host a “non-political” BBQ with extended family. Despite my best efforts to avoid politics being brought up, within 30 minutes someone brought up swing states, voter suppression, and deepfake campaign ads. The hamburgers were barely defrosted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 154

Today, my mom walked into my room without knocking to have a whole conversation about some distant relative's birthday in 3 months time. The whole time I had my bullet vibe still up inside me, so I had to talk to my mom while trying not to react to having an orgasm in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 160