Religion

Trolling for soup

By he's a dawk, and a cunt - 05/07/2013 22:29 - Australia - Darling Point

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 314

You deserved it 8 140

Moral panic #2766

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my sister shared a post on Facebook which talked about how "gays" are destroying the "sanctity of marriage." I couldn't help but point out that she's been married 3 times in the last 7 years, while I've been happily married to my wife for nearly 9. She deleted my comment then blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 305

You deserved it 2 499

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 22:00

Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 129

Possession

By Anonymous - 10/07/2023 18:00

Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 148

Accept it

By Anonymous - 21/05/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother refuses to acknowledge that I’m married because instead of a church, we got married outdoors in a lovely pagan ceremony (with a real marriage licence from the city council, obviously) and she keeps trying to introduce me to nice, single men from church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 132

Cool your jets

By Anonymous - 19/07/2021 22:01

Today, my fiancé told a priest on the bus to fuck off, because he was annoying her with all his God talk. She didn’t know the priest had been our family's priest for the past 40 years, the guy we were supposed to talk to about our wedding next year. Guess that’s not happening now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 1 271

Weird excuse

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he only now decided to look up what it meant. He gave me a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 705

You deserved it 17 997

Matchmaking

By Anonymous - 09/01/2024 12:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my wife (who changed her mind about converting for me after we married) now wants me to set her friends up with guys I grew up with from the same church. She’s offended that my family doesn’t trust her friends, and wants me to be outraged on their behalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 527

Bleak expectations

By Anonymous - 31/03/2023 18:00

Today, I finally realized that my husband doesn't love me, but loves the concept of marriage, as many Christians come to love to appease whoever they must. This is destroying the marriage I envisioned for us and building one of regret, resentment, and even hate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 215

The big man upstairs

By Anonymous - 30/08/2023 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I was informed by my parents that their relationship with God is more important than their relationship with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 175

Edgy atheist era

By going Old Testament on his ass - 01/07/2024 14:00 - United States - New York

Today, my son announced he was leaving our religion. I told him that, as sad I was, that I accepted and loved him. He seemed disappointed, and I noticed him discreetly fiddling with a camera. A little snooping led me to his Reddit account, where he called us all, "inbred, illiterate, bible-thumpers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 202

How does she know?

By Anonymous - 17/03/2021 08:00

Today, my future mother-in-law freaked out my very religious fiancé by telling him fornication is gonna send him to hell, because when I was with them in January we had sex every day for a month and she's still mad about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 412

Oh no!

By AnnoyedandAutistic - 01/06/2017 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were eating breakfast at my strict Christian grandparent's house when he said that it was impossible for anyone bigger than a grapefruit to be swallowed by a whale. My grandmother asked him, "What about Jonah?" to which he replied, "Oh, that's just a myth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 037

You deserved it 661

Praise the Lord

By Zippermania9 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 255

You deserved it 13 888

Stay strong, sister

By Hurting TransGirl - 25/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Franklin

Today, I sit isolated from my family with presents I cannot give. Though I respect my brother's religious beliefs and life ideals, he chooses to hate mine. He has gone out of his way to refuse patching up our relationship and now my parents who are at his house are not answering their phone. "Merry X-mas…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 206

Darth Bore

By Jace - 19/08/2011 22:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 520

You deserved it 5 729

True believer

By No Prayer for Fools - 24/04/2025 03:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, my mom nagged us to biblical levels to prepare and repent for "The Big One", which is a magnitude 10 earthquake that will happen anytime today until June 10, 3:16am. She claims it was predicted by a Holy Force sent by God himself. Who? Some idiot TicToker who asks Alexa future predictions, mainly disasters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 73

Because I said so

By thesparrow - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl whom I have loved for 4 years told me that she loved me too and would like to spend her life with me. This was before she told me that God did not want us to be together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 189

You deserved it 2 458

Freedom

By heartbroken - 17/04/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I’m devastated that I had to completely sever all ties with my mother. She’s a hyper religious zealot who’s gone as far as to threaten to kidnap my children in order to get them baptized after I refused to raise them in her archaic, abusive, oppressive cult-like “church”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 169

By mademoiselle meurtre - 13/04/2015 02:51 - United States - Belleville

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 220

You deserved it 2 857

By herdopera - 29/10/2018 17:30

Today, my parents announced they are adding a sister-wife to our very conservative Christian family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 046

You deserved it 238

Happy Easter!

By Anonymous - 20/04/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my kids are at the age where they no longer want to go to church, and if I take them anyway, they misbehave on purpose to embarrass me. I don’t even want to go, my wife is the religious one, but if I refuse to go she’ll see to it I get hell on earth daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 349

Not the rugby team!

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 10:00

Today, at dinner, I stumbled over the words of the prayer and my dad is now convinced I’m losing interest in my religious responsibilities. To “bring me back to the Lord” he is trying to force me to break up with my girlfriend and quit the rugby team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 147

Cocobananas

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 21:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, while celebrating my 10 years home from Iraq, my brother told us about his new affiliation with Scientology. Apparently, all those roadside bombs I keep dreaming about are just alien ghosts that need to be purged. What's worse is how well it fuses with his new brand of politics: YouTube QAnon channels! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 150

Leave me alone

By Quortney - 22/07/2015 04:20 - United States

Today, I was working at the local grocery store and a customer of mine, who had only bought two granola bars and was holding up my line, tried to convert me to Christianity. Out of all the people to target, she chose the shy atheist who just wanted to do her minimum wage job in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 656

You deserved it 3 076

Never be that atheist debate-lord Andy

By Aaaaaaaaaa - 08/09/2022 20:00

Today, I was ranting about creationists, when a friend interrupted me. He managed to mount a defense of creationism that I couldn't argue with. I got so flustered, I punched him in the face and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 1 815

Nice girl

By Lithiac - 04/02/2014 06:16 - United States - Ocala

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 607

You deserved it 4 831

Bridezilla

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 06:00

Today, it was supposed to be my wedding but my fiancé insisted we be married by his childhood priest, a real bible thumper. This arsehole tried to change our vows at the altar and told me wives should know their place, so I slapped him and the wedding is delayed until we get a new priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 240

Feel the burn

By Anonymous - 07/06/2023 12:00

Today, I hooked up with a guy. After sex, I found him washing his penis with BLEACH. I asked what the hell he was doing; apparently his mother makes him do it because sex is sinful and dirty, and all unmarried women have STDs. WHAT THE… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 305

See the light

By Not interested - 10/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my coworker was talking about how he fixed his broken marriage and how his wife adores him. I asked for his advice, since mine has been rough. He started talking about God and Christianity and how religion showed him the path. Uhh... nope, I think I'll stick with things the way they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 317

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The Top

Today, I've actually developed a crush on a guy I never intended to crush on, and also can't have. For one he's married and utterly devoted to his wife. And even if that weren't true, he's so far out of my league I need binoculars to see him. And to top it all of? He's fictional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 415

You deserved it 6 337

Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 531

You deserved it 989

Today, my boyfriend of three years who I helped through drug rehab and find employment in my office left me for someone else. His explanation was that now that his "head is not clouded with chemicals" and he "makes decent money", he wants to settle down with someone worthy of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 045

You deserved it 3 985

Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 2 155

Today, my mom yelled at me because I didn't hear to her calls while I was listening to music. She told me she wouldn't trust me again, that I'm worthless. When I began crying, she told me that I was psychologically manipulate her. It's been like this all the time lately. I can't wait to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 160

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she actually has three kids, so if we marry I’ll be a "step-daddy." We’ve only been dating for four weeks and she’s already talking marriage and some other dude's kids. I was out of the door so fast. Four weeks wasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 255