Parents

Out of the frying pan, into the fire

By Anonymous - 11/09/2023 15:01

Today, I've been home from prison for over a week, I still don't have a job or a vehicle, and my mom keeps checking my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 1 647

Nolongeracriminal tells us more.

Nolongeracriminal 16

Monday 11 September 2023 14:55

OP here. I have since received an offer, took it, then had multiple offers at other places. Things are working out on this end. Been working all my hours plus some and got a truck. Making a come up after spending 7 years in the clink. Thanks for all the support guys/gals!!! 🙏

Pied piper

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 09/07/2026 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the school called and their first words were, "We only took our eyes off her for a second." It's worse than you can imagine. My daughter had been digging a hole under the fence at the back of the schoolyard all week. She lead a breakout of her kindergarten class under the fence and down a commuter railway track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 66

I'm a rebel, mom!

By SheenaL - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 255

You deserved it 13 931

Easy life

By Anonymous - 29/08/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend is sulking because he actually thought two weeks paternity leave was going to be our new baby sleeping 18 hours a day while he played his Xbox, and get paid not to go to work every day. He was wrong, it’s been three days, and he’s exhausted already and whining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 257

Welcome to the family!

By MendozR - 26/07/2022 00:01

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s parents, hoping that they would like me. They made subtle, mean comments during dinner and made me feel like total crap, all because my boyfriend left his ex-wife for me. They don’t get that we’re both good and compatible for each other, and that’s what matters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 1 838

Mystery

By Waheyyy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 631

You deserved it 8 260

Call the police!

By Anonymous - 13/08/2023 10:00

Today, and for the past two months, I've been raising a baby goat, whose mother rejected her. I went to visit my mom, and brought my goat with me, as my mom lives on 14 acres of farmland. I went to make her bottle for dinner, and when I came back outside, my mom's truck and my goat were gone. She won't say who she gave her away to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 143

Falling down

By Ouch - 26/06/2021 11:01 - Serbia

Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 129

The protector

By Dad - 21/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 308

Better late than never

By why now?! - 12/08/2022 02:00

Today, the guy I had a two-week long fling with and got pregnant by (while on birth control I might add), and who disappeared more than a decade ago after I told him, showed up at my door, demanding shared custody of my daughter. While he is her biological parent, she’s never met him and was terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 233

Jumping the gun

By kylie b - 06/09/2023 16:00

Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 115

Ugh

By Anonymous - 09/01/2010 00:09 - United States

Today, formal portraits of my entire class were posted online, with about five photos per person. As my mom was looking at them, she was commenting about how pretty all my classmates look. When she got to my photos, all she had to say was, "Ugh". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 871

You deserved it 2 557

Gatekeeping

By My eyes and ears - 21/08/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I have accidentally encountered my parents having "sexy time" four times in the past week. I'm an adult. My parents are in their fifties. Their bedroom door doesn't fully shut, so I always get an unpleasant glimpse when I walk past, occasionally punctuated by my mom's pleasured moaning. Kill me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 652

Hard times

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 06:00 - United States - Battle Creek

Today, after 3 days of insomnia, I was able to finally fall asleep, just for there to be a fire in the apartment building about 15 minutes later. My mom called me selfish for waking her up in the middle of the night to ask if I could stay with her, and told me I better not rent a hotel room with the money I owe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 121

Pray the pain away

By bad religion - 28/05/2021 17:01

Today, I was crying to my sister that my therapist office messed up and didn’t schedule my appointment. My mom overheard and yelled, "You don’t need that mess anyway! Just pray about it!” Being raised with her religious fanaticism is what led to my insomnia, anxiety, depression, and guilt complex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 182

Great role model

By Anonymous - 09/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Irving

Today, my possibly soon-to-be ex-husband assaulted his sister because she said that our adoptive kids weren't really ours. Because of the pending criminal charges, we may have the adoption revoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 71

Mom?

By Anonymous - 20/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Eastpointe

Today, I texted a friend who I met some years ago. I had been asking her for months when she wanted to get together. Each time she said how she was basically too busy. Today was different, she said she was glad for the friendship but her daughter is busier now with new things, and doesn't want to get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 129

Step-nothing

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my dad's new wife, who is two years younger than me (I'm 24) and hates that I'm a lesbian, threw a fit when I told her that I would never call her Mom. My dad took her side. I don't live with them but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 92

Family matters

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 06:00

Today, in response to the guy whose son told him to fuck off for disturbing his one day off a week, my son spent literally his entire savings account for a deposit on a shitbox one bedroom house because he’s sick of his dad finding him things to do every ten minutes, and I don’t even blame him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 253

Projection much, Mom?

By Anonymous - 10/12/2022 21:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my mother brought my sex life in front of an entire family gathering. I lost my virginity at 17 and when she found out she called me a whore. This time, she told the family I'd slept with 100 men by the time I was 18. I’m 40 and my body count is 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 255

The truth will out

By Anonymous - 04/06/2019 22:00

Today, despite all my begging for him to at least be civil, my son started his eulogy at his dad's funeral with the words, “Let me tell you a few things about the bastard in the coffin over there.” It only got worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 472

You deserved it 721

Don't neglect yourself

By Anonymous - 24/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, I had to send a camper home before the summer session was up. She was very upset and cussed me out. I was then cussed out by her parents when they came to pick her up. She was sent home for refusal to shower and her bunk mates all complained about the corpse-like stench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 85

Flight from Hell

By Anonymous - 04/07/2023 18:00

Today, I was sat next to a screaming baby on a 9-hour flight. Now before anyone has a go at me, I am in no way blaming the baby, I’m blaming the mother with her makeup hair and nails done perfectly, with her AirPods on, staring at her phone, and ignoring her screaming child the full 9 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 112

Family vacation!

By Ungrateful brat - 06/06/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 218

Man caver

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 18:00

Today, my wife screamed, cried, called me lazy and a bad parent, and threatened to leave and take our four kids. All I did was ask for an hour to myself every day for some private time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 1 315

Tradcath

By Anonymous - 30/01/2023 16:30

Today, my husband won’t speak to our son anymore, because our son has slowly become more religious and is now studying to be a priest, "bringing shame on the family" as my husband calls it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 259

Understanding

By Vince - 27/03/2022 12:00

Today, my parents told me they won’t be attending my wedding, all because my fiancée is the woman I cheated on my ex with and left her for. What they fail to understand is that people and hearts change. It wouldn’t be fair to remain by my ex’s side while being in love with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 2 765

Asshole

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 06:00

Today, after my dad recently had to go sober or face dying within a year, it turns out that without the alcohol, his personality still sucks. He used to be a drunk asshole, but now he’s just an asshole. At least when he was drunk he used to pass out. Now he can be an asshole all night without stopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 104

Too much information, thanks

By Anonymous - 15/07/2023 18:00

Today, I’ve had to listen to my parents discovering that they were both cheating on each other. As I left, they were screaming at each other. When I got home, not only had they calmed down, they were openly discussing whether their other partners might be interested in foursomes or swinging. Ew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 140

Logic

By thyisnothorses - 29/04/2012 03:55 - United States - Scituate

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 269

You deserved it 3 106

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The Top

Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 010

You deserved it 15 338

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 178

You deserved it 2 248

Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 1 247

Today, it's now exactly one year until I turn 30 and I’ve never been with a woman before. I know that it’s over for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 261

Today, my boss, a true knobhead, bought the house next door to mine. Now not only does he ruin my life at work, I might have to see him and talk to him when I’m not at work as well. He once sent me home from work because he said my red tie clashed with my suit and made me look unprofessional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 84

Today, my boss asked if anyone knew basic Photoshop, and I volunteered because I once edited memes in high school. Two hours later I was sweating through my shirt trying to remove a reflection from a company head shot while my coworkers slowly realized I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 372