Fight

Don't Fight Club

By kizz mi azz - 28/03/2022 04:00

Today, I stood up to the school bully in a fight. Rather than thank me, the whole school, including some of his victims, now treat me like a psycho. Apparently they tolerated him because of his terrible foster parents, so me hitting him was actually way out of line, and insensitive. How did I become the bad guy here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 167

Wonky logic

By Anonymous - 25/10/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I got my ass beat by some kid in my grade. The reason I was targeted? The superintendent, aka my idiot father, suspended him for defending himself in another fight. The kid told me it's not personal, he needed to prove a point that our school doesn't do shit about bullying, As much as I agree with him… FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 91

Method acting

By hannahk267 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 624

You deserved it 4 499

Fisticuffs

By Anonymous - 16/01/2022 14:01

Today, I got proof that martial arts don’t really work, I’ve supposedly worked my way up to my black belt, and I challenged my brother to a match. He floored me with one punch before I could do anything, and he only weight lifts to keep in shape, he’s never done martial arts in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 1 399

Happy Caturday

By Cat Fight - 02/07/2022 15:00 - United States

Today, my cats started fighting again. Normally, I let them, because it's the only exercise they get. But this time one of my cats sliced the other's nose, and he responded by pinning her and nearly choking her to death. When I ran in to stop them, they teamed up against me. Ah, somethin' don't feel too good… FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 433

Public freakout

By Grandson - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Ontario

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 070

You deserved it 4 701

Work sucks, I know

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 14:01 - United States - Keene

Today, I had to go hands-on at work, while choking on mace, with a man who was mentally disturbed. It could have been avoided, if my supervisor had been less concerned with asserting dominance, and instead let the guy get a grip on the situation. Great use of my college degrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 111

Infantilizing

By this is why! - 30/10/2021 18:00 - United States

Today, my wife is angry with me for lying to her and “treating her like a child”. Knowing how long it takes her to get ready, I told her an event we were attending started an hour and a half before it really did. Even with the extra time, we barely made it. She still thinks I’m wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 125

Through the wall

By Jeynna - 08/05/2021 00:01

Today, I bumped into my next door neighbor. She said, "Not for nothing, but I heard you fighting with your boyfriend last night, you're pretty harsh on him." I don't have a boyfriend, I was just drunk and castigating myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 890

Halloween freakout

By cuz803 - 01/11/2022 16:00

Today, I went to my friend's costume party dressed as Michael Myers. My costume must've been too conspicuous because it drew violent attention. I'm still sore from the pushing, tackling, tripping, falling and body shots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 168

Patsy

By Anonymous - 28/04/2022 12:00

Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 180

Fight me, loser

By mrmidi - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned two important facts: #1 - A grown man can, in fact, get beaten up by a teenage girl, and #2 - If someone is convinced you are someone else, there is no telling them otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 875

You deserved it 4 389

Tennis

By Anonymous - 09/01/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, I got home from school after having been in a fight. I looked to my father and asked him for advice; he said, "Go see your mother." I go to see my mother, and she says, "Go see your father." FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 98

Heavy sleeper

By good_aim - 27/07/2013 08:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 322

You deserved it 26 937

By Undercover - 12/10/2009 08:38 - United States

Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 677

You deserved it 4 427

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United States - Wasilla

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 170

Fight Club

By x_o - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Hungary - Öttevény

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 973

You deserved it 3 948

Badass fighting talk

By Welp - 19/04/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I was caught trying to use the employee bathroom at the back of the store when an employee asked if I worked there. I responded with, “Oh what? Are you a hall monitor? That’s what I thought!” but ended up bumping into a corner and my nose started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 1 681

Punk rock

By Shitfaced - 22/11/2022 12:00

Today, some punk tried the "flaming bag of dog poop" trick on me. I caught him in the act and smashed the unlit bag across his face. Now he's "traumatized" and wants to press charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 211

Badass

By Boyufd - 30/08/2021 18:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after 3 years. Why, do you ask? Turns out her dad used to bully my dad in highschool and my dad kicked his ass after all this time and sent him to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 106

I could see, but didn't wanna

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 14:00

Today, I had my window open while playing my Xbox when my angry neighbour came over and kicked my ass for spying on his wife in the shower. Apparently, my room is opposite their bathroom, but my TV faces the opposite way, so I wasn’t even facing the right direction to be spying. Plus, his wife is ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 140

Boundaries, dude!

By JoeBidenIsMyFIL - 02/03/2020 18:00

Today, I had to physically restrain my girlfriend from assaulting my father after he drunkenly poked her in the ribs for the fifth time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 575

You deserved it 385

Smash the patriarchy!

By Anonymous - 25/06/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 377

Pound for pound

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 14:01

Today, my girlfriend had a huge fight with me because while I'm trying to gain weight and she’s trying to lose some, I’ve still lost more weight than her. Not my fault my body’s natural preference is to drop pounds like they’re hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 148

Welcome…

By Brenden - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Massillon

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 968

You deserved it 7 316

It is the way

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 18:00

Today, after I broke up yet another fight between my sons, I demanded to know why they hate each other and fight all the time. After some blank looks they said, almost in unison, “It is the way” and wouldn’t explain what they meant. Even the internet isn’t being helpful here. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 206

Awkward family gatherings

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 16:01 - United States - Bensenville

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 248

You deserved it 3 467

The harder they come

By andre - 24/12/2021 20:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, after training for six months in martial arts, I was ready to stand up against my bully. When he approached me. I found out the hard way he’s been doing martial arts since he was six. I didn’t know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 463

John Wick

By Jessica - 15/02/2023 10:00

Today, my boyfriend invited a quiet guy in a suit to "step outside", all because he thought, wrongly, that he was trying to chat me up. Quiet guy declines, and my boyfriend called him chickenshit. Quiet guy and boyfriend step outside; boyfriend spends the next 5 minutes getting beaten up. I had to take him to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 378

Beat it

By frank - 13/01/2022 08:01

Today, while out with my girlfriend, her stalker ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and beat the shit out of me. While I was on the ground, my girlfriend got angry at him, and went to go “talk with him in private.” She’s nowhere to be found, and hasn’t picked up her phone in four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 128

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Keywords

Messy Animals Dogs Cute Love Miscellaneous ACAB Cops Intimacy Thief NSFW Sex Fight #FAFO Kids Parents Sexism Swimming pool Disney Money Abuse Health Gross Poopoo peepee Farts Cheating Shopping Weird Holidays Vacation

The Top

Today, I slipped on the wet floor at work and sprained my wrist badly. I was carrying the wet floor sign so no one would slip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 552

You deserved it 7 172

Today, I sent a Whatsapp message to my boss that was meant for my coworker. It said, “I’m so over this job, I can’t wait to quit!” I tried deleting it immediately, but the notification pinged right as he was sitting next to me in a meeting. He smirked and said, “Good to know you’re so passionate about this job.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 625

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 902

You deserved it 3 832

Today, after a few months of my neighbor's friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed, "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 524

You deserved it 17 000

Today, my nephew grabbed my balls to wake me up at 4 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 177

Today, I told my girlfriend I was exhausted and wanted a nap. She decided to join me, then got bored and started watching Instagram reels blasting the same five seconds of some awful Cardi B "song." She got pissed when I asked her to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 89