Creepy

I guess that's why they call it an intravitreal injection

By Anonymous - 13/02/2021 08:02

Today, the eye doctor told me I only had 90% vision on my left eye, and asked if I wanted treatment. Not being terribly bothered by it, I asked what the treatment would consist of. "We'll stick a large needle in your eye, and pump in some medicine." I quickly wished him a pleasant day and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 217

Not so sneaky

By Felicity - 11/09/2024 09:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was trying to take a sneaky picture of a cute guy sitting across from me on a train. My phone’s flash went off. I panicked, dropped my phone, and then had to awkwardly stand up to retrieve it while he just smirked at me, clearly aware of what had just happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 728

Stable genius

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 02:02 - United States - New York

Today, I went on a short date with a new girl in the office, who everyone thought was a tad bit odd. Also today, she showed me the names of our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 256

KKK recruitment drive

By lordoftheweird - 16/05/2022 02:00

Today, I had to explain to multiple people that even though I'm white, I have no interest in joining a hate group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 128

Creepy and spooky

By Dino - 12/10/2012 06:36 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 775

You deserved it 2 383

Call the cops

By sacrophage - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 204

You deserved it 2 955

Chilling

By BondingTime - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 385

You deserved it 4 211

Are you there?

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 19:59 - United States - Steele

Today, I had an awful dream where my uncle died from a massive heart attack. When I woke up, my brain interpreted the dream as being a real thing that really happened. It wasn't until my uncle called and asked me why everyone thought he was dead that I finally came to my senses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 409

You what?

By dumbucksally - 31/08/2018 06:00

Today, my 30 year-old boyfriend of 4 years OD'd on his mental health medication, resulting in a trip to the hospital. He said the experience was eye-opening and he wants to be 100% honest with me. He then said he wants to have sex with his biological mother, who he finally met last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 448

You deserved it 314

Creepy idea, dude

By Anonymous - 22/10/2020 17:01

Today, I finally found a way to lesser the loneliness in my life. During at least one work or school zoom meeting a day, I "pin" a random female attendee's screen. That way, I can pretend we're staring into each others eyes the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 1 418

Excuses excuses

By Sparky - 05/11/2022 02:00

Today, I realized my ex-boyfriend is still in love with me. I told him I could never date him or be anything more than friends, telling him it’s creepy, but his response was, “Oh, well, my autism makes me see things differently.” I can’t get through to this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 227

Statutory

By I don't care if it was consented or not, I'm gonna whoop the shit out of this child-molesting fuck. - 22/09/2021 23:00

Today, my sister, who is now 19, gathered the guts to formally present her boyfriend to us. She was so concerned that my parents wouldn't let her have a boyfriend, she kept it a secret for 5 years. We were happy to hear it, until she presented him to us. He's a 35-year-old taxi driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 156

Alas, poor Kermit

By W...T...F - 09/08/2013 16:15 - United States

Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 527

You deserved it 3 736

Weirded out

By CreepyPaperDoll - 05/11/2009 06:36 - United States

Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 006

You deserved it 3 976

WTF is this fresh hell?

By swag papi - 22/01/2016 05:47 - Australia - Perth

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang. I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 047

You deserved it 8 382

Creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Tobyhanna

Today, I had to explain to my father that when my friends sleep over, it's not acceptable to sneak into my room in the middle of the night and dig through their stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 993

You deserved it 4 519

Go away, creep

By Anonymous - 22/12/2020 11:02 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I learned that my stalker is still trying to weasel their way into my life even after they doxxed me, cyberstalked me, harassed me, threatened me, and attempted blackmail on me. All this just because I told them that their boyfriend groomed me when I was a minor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 110

Legal Eagle

By Anonymous - 29/11/2021 05:01

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 2 802

Creeped out

By gymgirl - 17/12/2013 23:48 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 417

You deserved it 3 848

Scary

By Adan - 04/12/2012 21:34 - United States - Monroe

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 689

You deserved it 25 234

Thanks but no thanks

By Nicole - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So, it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 957

You deserved it 3 373

WTF dude?

By meowtickmeow - 12/03/2010 01:18 - United States

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 672

You deserved it 2 708

Are men OK?

By wtf bro?! - 07/05/2019 12:00

Today, I got a Facebook message from a guy from my old school. I didn’t remember him, but I replied anyway. When I checked my phone after work, I had 73 new messages that went from, “How have you been?” to, “Fuck you ugly cockteasing whore,” and ended with, “You better hope I don’t catch you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 520

You deserved it 194

Friend in need

By Anonymous - 01/08/2024 16:00 - Mongolia - Ulan Bator

Today, I'm literally obsessed with one boy. I've been crushing on him for more than a year now and yet he still decided to reject me. I have been rejected like four times by now, so I don't think this is love anymore, it's definitely more like a obsession or something. I've lost so many people just because of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 996

Spooky season

By fishyrael - 13/10/2022 06:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I took a nap before work. I had a harrowing nightmare in which I was chased by a murderer and the ghosts of his victims at my job. I then woke up to go to work, where I work the night shift, completely alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 131

The accused

By Anonymous - 16/08/2022 18:00

Today, my neighbour asked me to stop "flaunting my nudity" where her husband can see me. By this she apparently meant my bathroom when I open the window to let the steam out, because her husband can see me shower from their son's treehouse. Somehow, I don’t think me or my window are the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 172

Halloween came early

By umm..WHAT?? - 22/10/2020 23:01 - United States - Pomona

Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I woke up in horror to see that my 34-year-old cousin, who was spending the night, was watching me sleep. Once he noticed that I was awake, he quietly left the room. I told my mom, who then told me not to tell anyone and pretend that it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 654

You deserved it 101

What have been up to?

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 29/07/2022 22:00 - Canada - Kanata

Today, while picking up one of my older kids from school, I started talking to another parent. He commented that it had been quite a year in the kindergarten, because every day his kids come home telling stories about two girls, Hannah and Pi, and all the things they did that day. Hannah is my daughter, Pi is her nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 218

Creepy

By lisa - 29/11/2015 16:04 - Australia - Kensington

Today, my sister accused me of "leading on" her creepy best friend and said I should apologize to him for making him think he was going to get lucky. I haven't talked to the guy in over 5 years, except for one random encounter 2 days ago, where all I said was, "Hi, how have you been?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 859

You deserved it 1 404

Freaked out

By radioinvader - 28/10/2012 12:29 - Canada - Kingston

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down, laughing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 585

You deserved it 3 764

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, faced with the problem of my children fighting over which one of them was going to sit in the middle in the car’s back seat, I suggested that they take turns. Now, they’re fighting about who got to sit there the longest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 93

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I cried my eyes out for hours over the guy who dumped me 9 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 577

You deserved it 2 990

Today, my husband is sulking because I wouldn't let him do what he's always wanted to do: throw our cat out the second floor window to see if she would land safely and on all fours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 351

You deserved it 2 572

Today, it's been a week since my girlfriend has been mad at me but still won’t tell me why. Then she came on to me all sexy like, so I thought all was forgiven. Nope, she was just horny. Once she got her orgasm, she left me blue-balled, went right back to being mad at me, and still won’t explain why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 362

Today, I decided to try out a new look. Hair, make-up, dress. Later, at work, a guy from our insurance came to assess the building's fire damages from 2 days ago, saying, "I'm here to take pictures of the wreckage." One of my coworkers said, "She's right over there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 126

Today, after years planning our wedding, booking a venue, a DJ, dresses and suits, a limousine, sending invitations, hiring caterers, buying gifts, arranging the honeymoon for the day after the wedding, we did all that flawlessly. What was the one god damn thing we forgot? To book a registrar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 404